Chances
by blackhawkcawcaw
Summary: *Post-New York* The past before the Battle of New York was left unsaid. Little was known about what made the Avengers who they were. And for two experienced agents and partners of SHIELD, abandoning they're missions to join some super team was the last on their list. Exposure after New York brings back their pasts like never before. How will they survive? *Clintasha*
1. Chapter 1

Natasha Romanoff wasn't a team player. For most of her life she'd fend for herself, killing to stay alive, relentlessly getting off many watchers radars. Her tendency to seduce and kill had brought her to produce little feeling in many humans before. Her past in the Red Room was left behind but never forgotten. She had unwillingly made a name for herself. The Black Widow.

Clint Barton wasn't a man to mess with. For most of his life he had been prodded from feelings, left battered and bruised on the side of the road, catching the eye of SHIELD. His skill and accuracy with a bow and arrow was brought to his ultimate weapon after a childhood of little physical attention. He had made a name for himself. Hawkeye.

Since that mission nine years prior Natasha Romanoff owed Clint Barton a debt. And that was her life. All after Director of SHIELD, Nick Fury had posted his newly recruited Agent Barton to observe and then eliminate his target, The Black Widow. As Clint had observed this young and admittedly beautiful assassin had her clever ways to lure wealthy and sometimes sleazy men making them vulnerable. This is when she would attack and kill her target.

Clint observed the following scene under wraps as he was poised with his arrow clutched at his side on a rooftop in southern Amsterdam.

"Mr Chekov, target has been eliminated" she muttered smoothly with her russian accent clearly evident, as she held one finger to her ear, speaking into her earpiece.

She walked around the now blood smeared hotel room, wiping the deep red liquid which was splattered on her cheek. Clint couldn't help but grimace at the sight laid in front of him. As she looked down at her defeated target Clint could see the slight side of her which wasn't masked with a blank expression. She only looked around twenty, already seeming to have seen too much.

He snapped back into his focus when he realized Coulson would be watching his every move as he lets the seconds tick by before he was intending to end the horror that was the Black Widow. As Clint held back his arm, fingers mere millimeters from letting go of the arrow aimed directly at her chest from a fair distance, he couldn't let go. Something was tugging at him, almost forcing him to drop his weapon.

"Agent Barton, take the shot before one of us comes down their ourselves and kills her" Clint heard Agent Coulson, his practical father (since he regretted having his first father) ordered, although seeming hesitant with his words. Coulson could see clearly on surveillance Barton's stance, which scared him quite a bit.

Never in all his years had an agent seemingly hesitate.

"Barton" he barked now growing impatient.

"Sir, you're going to have to trust me on this one" Clint muttered into his earpiece, chucking it out his ear and stamping it on the ground crushing it.

He could almost hear Coulsons profuse shouting as soon as he cut the line.

Clint wasn't sure exactly what he was doing. Why did he find it so hard to take the shot like he had done so many times before?

Surely he wasn't sympathizing because she was a woman who looked like she hadn't had all the good sucked out of her. But Clint also wondered if it was possible for a woman to do the things she had possibly done on her own cause.

So being Clint Barton he was a man of instinct. He made rushed decisions that mostly ended with some consequence. But this didn't stop him this time.

He reached for one of his specially marked arrows and shot at above the window the Black Widow was standing near. A long wire led across and Clint cleanly swung into the open window rolling smoothly on the floor startling the red-head who rapidly aimed a gun at his head, shaking out of control.

Clint sort of predicted this was her move as he observed her quick reflexes over the days on his mission.

"God you men are so predictable" she scoffed thickly, her accent stronger than before.

Her emerald green eyes glared, seeming determined with the gun held easily out in front of her. Nobody spoke but Clint slowly rolled up, surprisingly the assassin didn't flinch.

They tensely stood, both shaking and breathing heavily, glaring into each others eye before Clint spoke up.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?" he asked, eyeing her carefully trying to decode her stance. She was a hard woman to figure out.

"Because I know you are being followed, as am I. I can tell you don't know what you are doing and don't know the answer as to why you are in front of me. I'm guessing that was for another time. Please do tell me to stop if I am wrong" she bitterly spat, now looking wary and distracted.

"Do you have somewhere to be Widow?" he scoffed.

"Don't call me that" she glared with a lower voice, Clint knowing at any second she could kill him, even without the gun.

"Answer the god damn question!" he spoke up, now seething with anger and impatience for once. He was astounded to see she actually flinched.

"You're in the way. If you don't leave now, I'm dead. Don't believe they won't kill you too" the Widow muttered, peering out the windows absently, worry etched on her sweating face.

"You? Dead? Who on earth _owns you_?!" Clint scoffed finding her talking ridiculous.

Clint had certainly crossed the line now. She purposefully shot her gun missing Clint's foot by a few centimeters making him jump to the side. A scowl was all over her face as she dropped the gun and lurched forward on Clint. She blinked and suddenly stopped as she was faced with an arrow, inches away from her eye.

"Don't believe _I_ won't kill you either" he smirked at the other end of the arrow. She stepped back seeming surprised that somebody outstepped her.

"Oh, I see we have the choice of a weapon a little less advanced. But you would've killed me up on that roof even before you barged on in here like some hot shot" she pointed out with a growl evident in her voice.

Clint tripped over his next words as she was one step ahead of him, as he would soon find out was quite often. She rapidly grabbed the end of the arrow, pulling it out and grappling the man who was just as strong as he looked but that didn't phase her one bit. She twisted his arm one way and the the other turning him over so he landed on his back with a loud thud. She stood poised over him with an impatient glare.

"Whats your name?" she whispered, burning holes into his eyes with her green gaze.

"What's it to you, litte red?" Clint chuckled, not caring that he was in a vulnerable position because for some reason he knew she wouldn't really kill him. It was all in the uncertainty and tiredness that drew it out.

"Don't call me that either" she spat, placing her heel on his neck, although not firmly. Before she could blink the man swiped his hand over her heel making her stumble and he turned the tables making her land on her back. Silence took over the musky room, with a dead body in it. They'd both seen to much to care.

"Clint Barton" he whispered, losing all tenseness in his body.

"What?" she glared.

"My name's Clint" he said, removing the tight hold he had that pinned her to the floor. She didn't seem to fight back.

Before she answered she swiftly took the earpiece out, staring at it for a few moment, before throwing it out the window. Her eyes looked haunted at what she had just done.

"What do you want from me? Kill me? Know what I know? Trying to get to somebody? I would approve of the latter" she questioned, standing up on her two feet, still trembling slightly. "Although _they _will be after you if you do kill me" she said, eyes darkening in fear.

"I do not want to kill you" Clint whispered, eyes wary and defeated.

"Bullshit" she spat after much silence "Every sane person on this earth wants me gone".

"But you don't want to go" he tested, making her think.

"Are you trying to confuse me, Agent Barton?" she sighed, frustrated with everything.

Clint's eyes narrowed "How do you know I'm an Agent?".

"Well it was quite obvious in your stance, the formality of your moves. Not the hardest thing in the word. But the question is who you work for.. American, quite obviously. You seem the cocky type. The FBI wouldn't come near me, the Army aren't dressed so.. assasin like" she blurted easily, making Clint feel self-conscious. Nobody ever figured him out like that. In fact most people didn't _get _him. His sometimes reckless humor, the order in which he does things and how he can change his emotions in the blink of an eye.

"I work for SHIELD" Clint answered making sure to lower his voice. She simply nodded.

"Natalia Romanova" she said out of the blue, deciding to half-trust this man, since even if she was killed it would be for the better. That night had crossed the line for her.

She didn't know who she had become.

Clint seemed grateful and quite shocked that she managed to break down her walls so fast. He had seemed to crack her. That wasn't his objective.

"How old are you?" he whispered quite astounded.

"Twenty-two" she hesitated. Clint couldn't believe that. Although her body was clearly at the age, her face, the closer Clint looked, was looking exhausted. Her eyes downcasted, the green usually a beautiful colour but the weariness taking over all that was beautiful in her features.

Suddenly a loud crash down below made the woman jump in fear as she met Barton's eyes. She seemed worried, afraid even.

"You shouldn't be here. They'll come after you first and I seriously mean they won't hesitate to kill you" she panicked, suddenly not wanting any harm done to this man although he barely looked any older than her.

"What about you? What will happen once I'm dead?" he lowered his voice, making her stiffen.

He started to become worried once she didn't answer so rapidly. She wiped a piece of hair which stuck to her forehead with her noticeably shaking hand.

"Natalia" he pressed, not finding calling her by her first name something out of the normal. When he said her name, having a ring in his american accent she looked up at him finally, into his light blue eyes seeing a worried face. Damn him and his caring. Stupid Americans and their tendency to have emotions.

She had never met a person who had bothered to ask about her. Or call her by her first name.

And she wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not.

"I'm not meant to talk to anybody" she said, voice cracking slightly. She couldn't break down her exterior for this complete stranger.

Focus Natalia.

"Do you want to live?" Clint asked rashly.

"I don't deserve to" she replied quickly, wiping the sweat off her forehead.

"Do you want to live?" Clint pressed, grabbing her by the shoulders with his callused hands, making her stiffen immediately. She had never had another human grasp onto her without trying to molest her.

"And why would I want to?" she whispered, looking around her rapidly, checking the coast was clear.

"I know there is still good in you. Don't you want to do something good in this world? Something that won't leave you feeling used, feeling unwanted?".

"I am wanted by my employers" she said turning sour and closing up.

"They are using you, god damn it! Listen to me! You can trust every word I say! You can't trust them!" he almost pleaded, shaking her by the shoulders, startling her. He tried reaching his gaze into her green eyes, trying to reach some hint that she would want to live.

And that day Clint knew he had made the right instinct. He decided to put all his faith into the one person he was sworn to kill. From years of feeling unwanted and rejected he immediately sympathized and felt how somebody understood.

Although once they had left, Natalia completely unsure of her decision but was too tired to ask. Suppressors wearing off.

Please hope I have some sense when I wake up.

Clint was worried about the party he would meet once he took her back to the hidden SHIELD base in an abandoned warehouse where a seething Coulson was standing, eye twitching.

The room was dank and empty apart from two agents lined at the door and Coulson standing arms crossed in front of him.

Before Clint could blink, Natalia was grappled by two senior agents, making her flinch but not for long before she quickly twisted the handcuffs locked on her wrists, already mastering how to get out of them by the time she was eleven. Nobody realizing, she boldly elbowed the two men in the gut shaking them off her. Coulson grew angrier seeing this scene unfold in front of him.

Clint knew he was so dead.

He saw her swing her left leg to one of the aggressive agents and before she could take down the other Clint stepped in, catching her foot.

She was breathing heavily, betrayal clear in her eyes.

Why did she stupidly trust this con-man. He had actually trapped her into getting captured.

"Don't fight it" Clint whispered lowering his voice.

Natalia spat, shaking her foot out of his grip.

Perfect. He was off guard now.

She swung a punch right at his jaw, hitting perfectly, making him cower back.

"Stop Widow or I _will_ kill you right now" Coulson suddenly shouted, holding out his gun, eyes not looking fazed.

"Coulson stop" Clint growled, hand to his throbbing jaw.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one who makes the calls around her buddy" Coulson said, stern as hell.

"Coulson, just please! Lower the gun!" Clint stood up, voice raised.

Coulson hesitantly lowered his gun with a scowl obvious.

Natasha stood their, hands shaking, wondering why on earth that air-head american had stopped the firing from the other air-headed, more determined looking man in the suit.

"Don't fight them. If you want to live you have to trust me" Clint said rapidly. He looked deep into her gaze, making her shudder. Her clenched fists softened and she held her arms up in defeat.

The two men came back holding her firmly. They all knew she could sneak her way out of this one but for some reason she didn't fight back the second time.

Boy she hoped her instincts were right.

Natalia was shoved away into a smaller room, resembling a cell. They locked the doors and she sat on the only piece of furniture in the bare and white room. She noticed her whole body was shaking.

Instincts were a first for her.

Meanwhile after the red-headed woman with a lot of violence issues got dragged away, Coulson stood, gun still held firmly in both his hands.

"In my office, _now" _he ordered, not looking at an evenly shocked Clint once, before turning on his heel.

If it was just Coulson in the room them Clint would somehow master his way around him.

Coulson was already sitting down but Clint's eyes drew immediately to the other equally angry man sitting in the office chair. His heart stopped for a millisecond when he met his furious gaze.

"Sit" his deep voice demanded.

Yup, he was so screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello fellow people of the earth! Was really quite shocked that I already got two lovely reviews! Thank you AvengerRedHuntress & wolftattoo! Okay next chapter is when the time catches up. Just needed to give a bit of background. I would love to hear what you all think so don't be shy! I'm a happy chappy don't be scared ;)**

**Enjoy...**

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"Agent Clint Barton. The handful of times I've had you in front of me was for congratulations. But then I hear you disobeyed orders from Coulson of all people, ditched the objective of killing Natalia and brought her ass back here. We aren't here to babysit her, so you better have some bloody good reason to why we shouldn't kill her right now" SHIELD's director Nick Fury barked, slamming his hand firmly on the desk. Clint stayed silent.

"Do you have any idea just how much of a risk you are posing on the safety of this agency, Barton? Any fucking clue just how much of a miracle it is that none of us are dead yet? You could've been followed by her employers who were _clearly_ following her ass. How can you even know to trust this.. this _girl_!" Coulson started, not even hesitating to raise his voice. Clint couldn't help but flinch when he said 'girl'. Yes, she was barely over the legal drinking age. But seeing as she was the center of the Black Widow objective Clint had no doubt in his mind she'd seen enough to last a lifetime. Her childhood was probably robbed from her which was the reason why he didn't let go of that arrow.

He had the thought in the back of his mind that finally, just _finally_, somebody had some level of similarity or understanding towards Clint's twenty five years of life.

But this was asking for a miracle. God, Clint why didn't you do it?

He was beating himself up over a mountain load of reasons. He was putting his building blocks, his _life_ on the line. This was a slip-up. But then he was worried as to why he _wasn't _worried about her living. The amount of sympathy he had towards her was immense.

Maybe it was the youthful looks that made him halt.

Or was it just for some of his own reasons?

"I suggest you take some time to listen, Barton. I'll have your ass back on that plane and scheduled for suspension for your actions. Can you repeat to me one of the number one rules of this agency whilst on a mission, _agent_?" Director Fury glared, his gaze burning holes into Barton's face which was looking downwards.

"Always follow orders from senior agents" Clint mumbled, not in the mood to be lectured.

There was silence in the room and satisfaction settling over Nick Fury who knew he was rattling the junior field agent. Coulson was harder to convince.

"Now, I suggest you get your ass on the plane back to New York leaving in 0400, before I boot you there myself" Fury growled,with a final warning glance before Clint pushed his chair back, leaving without a single word.

Coulson followed quickly behind.

"Barton. _Why _didn't you follow my orders when you had the chance" Coulson whispered as the glowering younger agent who Coulson practically hovered over in the agency was speeding ahead.

"Sir, it's something I like to call instinct and sympathy. Hope we aren't forgetting where I came from, Coulson" Clint muttered feeling Coulson's eyes burn heatedly to the back of his head.

He had had enough of his walking away so he sharply grabbed Clint by the shoulder and pressed him against the wall.

"And I hope, _Barton_, that we aren't forgetting I was the one to drag you out of that mess!" he angrily fumed, ignoring the stares from coworkers walking swiftly by.

Barton sighed and held his head up.

"You really want to know why I did what I did?" he calmed down, making Coulson let go of his shoulder.

"Oh I'm dying to know" Coulson scoffed.

"You know how much of a risk it was dragging me from off the street. A complete stranger kid who you couldn't trust. Try take into my perspective that Natalia deserves a second chance equal to mine. This Black Widow program, if you looked at the file, is involuntary. Her memory wiped having no clue of what happened, the suppressors, the drugs, the countless tests, the _consequences _on failing any objective_" _he listed.

Well at least he was listening.

"I understand that, Clint. You know I do. But the threat this is posing on SHIELD. This is a woman who has the killing streak to last her a lifetime. Try to be realistic" Coulson warned.

Horrors were echoing in her mind. Staring at a starch white wall didn't help. It resembled too much of _that_ room. The injections into her blood stream, etching her very thoughts. Where did she come from? What was her real name?

Taken from a delicate age, she knew so little of the world. Her childhood was erased and placed over with formalities, control and pure hell.

They will be after her. She could almost hear his thick accent, see his dark eyes, sense his wrath he would unfold.

She was a traitor. She gave up her stability for this gut feeling.

She wasn't trained for gut feelings.

What felt like minutes but was actually minutes a buzzer went off making her jump in her shriveled stance against the cold wall. The door clicked open and she almost felt she would be held down in a chair, tortured and gagged.

But the pair of eyes that latched onto hers were a soft blue, not a deep and menacing brown.

"Hey" Clint's voice hummed quietly.

She didn't answer still feeling a sense of betrayal set over her. She would always be cold and distant to any human.

After she didn't respond as he expected Clint pushed a tray forward "I got the kitchen to shape up a meal for you".

Her eyes weren't connecting to his as soon as he stepped in. The red curls helped to mask her scowl.

"Look I know it kind of came as a shock how they handled it al-"

"I've dealt with much worse" she interrupted with a low growl.

Then what was her problem?

Clint turned on his heel thinking it wise to leave her to herself.

"Why am I locked up?" she asked almost audibly, but he heard.

"I'm working around it, Natalia" he sighed, carrying on and leaving her behind.

"Don't call me that either".

"Then what the hell do you want me to call you?" he raised his voice, feeling tired, stressed and annoyed.

Calm Barton.

"Something different. I don't want to own that name any more" she whispered.

He sighed shutting the cell door closed, leaving her trapped in her thoughts and him in his.

As the days ticked by the security hold up on Natalia reduced. She slowly adjusted to the fact that if she didn't speak, there was little progress. She was mute most of the time and whenever that annoying american with the blue eyes came in she would freeze, not responding to any of his strange hospitality.

You couldn't make her feel warmth or invitation.

She was a cold-blooded, unpredictable killer. She was programmed to have no feeling, not letting stupid emotions block any gates for her.

She had no limits and as soon as somebody would step in she would push them away.

But there was something damn persistent and petty about that one man, Barton.

She could feel herself roll her eyes when he would step in.

He even had the guts to ask her how she felt.

_Emotions won't let you win._

_Emotions only leave you disappointed and broken in the end._

*A month later*

"Coulson I know it's all with formalities to keep her hidden but she can't stay in here forever" Clint interjected, starting to feel protective over the woman trapped in yet another cell in SHIELDS's New York HQ. No matter how cold and calculative she was being he still felt sympathy.

Although her freedom to roam around the agency was increasing she chose to stay hidden, speaking and eating little.

She was closing all help out as usual.

She felt she could fend for herself.

"Well formalities are what keep this agency running, Clint. Not with reckless decisions".

Coulson's phone buzzed repeatedly and he picked up the phone.

His stern face turned upward into what looked like a small smile, eyes directly on Clint.

"Fury's office, _now_" Coulson ordered, and Barton's stomach churned. Oh not again.

He wanted to walk as slowly as he could but knew it would be taken down in Fury's mind. Clint sometimes seemed to care too much about what his impression on others held like.

His hand hesitated to turn the door knob but he rapidly walked in, giving a small bow of the head but he froze when he saw the back of a curly red-haired woman's hair.

His face fell in confusion.

"Ah, come sit, Barton" his face mused in a small smile quite similar to Coulson's.

He didn't dare to look at her intense gaze as he sat right next to her.

"After your repetitive whinging and whining you've actually pushed and eventually cracked me into a genius idea" he mused, crossing his arms over.

"Sir?" Clint felt himself speak up, with a lump in his throat.

"This could eventually explode in my face and backfire but what the heck I'm trying a new thing called _instinct_" he eyed, looking specifically at Clint.

They were all silent not wanting to speak up.

Nick Fury pulled out a heavy chunk of files from beside his desk and it landed with a loud smack on the table.

"For you" he instructed to Natalia who was sitting silently the whole time. If it weren't for her killer looks her swiftness and silence would almost give the impression that she wasn't there.

She hesitantly opened the case file to a massive script of papers.

Clint's eyes narrowed over the name.

_Natasha Romanoff. Junior SHIELD field Agent._

"Like the new spin on the name?"

"Whats it for?" Clint asked.

"I'm looking at SHIELD's newest recruitment and latest partnership" he said, making Clint's eyes widen. Where as Natasha froze.

"Partnership?" his voice nearly shouted.

Clint could see out of the corner of his eyes when he stood up her knuckles whiten even more from her pale skin.

"Don't like teams, Natasha?" Fury chuckled. "Time you adjusted to your grudge".

"But si-" Clint started.

"Barton you are going to prove me wrong. Show me that she deserves a second chance. Show me you can cooperate and prove me and the majority of the agency wrong" Fury invited, amusingly with his hand held open.

Clint fell silent and he could hear her breathing heavily.

"Your first mission is surveillance. I need you two to watch where the deportment of one of our main interests. A dealing should be taking place and I am trusting you two to not get caught and report back. Lucky for you this one is right in out back yard so I suggest you gear up and get your asses down to Coulson to give the details" he instructed.

They both silently turned to leave anger boiling up inside.

She didn't work as a team.

Especially if it involved that cocky, reckless man.

"Oh and Barton. You screw this up this time around I will suspend you for real" Fury warned. Clint gulped and turned around seeing her mass of hair bouncing, as she fumed down the hall.

_Great_, he thought bitterly. I'm dealing with the ice queen.

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**Start of a fantabulous partnership ;)**

**Please take in mind the first two chapters Clint and Natasha are considerable younger and less experienced (meaning less mature kinda). **

**Will keep you guys posted.. **

**-HB x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Why hello there my amiga's... Rightio third chapter and this is the longest by about an extra 1000 words which makes this chapter almost 4000 words (not including my personal comments!) I'm a believer in giving a heap in a chapter so when I do write something I don't leave the reader waiting for an update so I'll make sure you can be kinda satisfied with the chapter :) lucky for you I suppose hehe!**

**Okay this chapter is pre-avengers initiative so basically as soon as Loki struts his sassy ass on in. This chapter is also a lot on thoughts just to give an insight into the position in which their partnership stands. Oh and I promise to deliver some real cliff-hangers whether you like them or not in the progressing chapters...**

**ENJOY and review so we can share the loooove and I can be a happy chappy to keep writing! :)**

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Clint was never one to panic on such high levels but that one moment he did. With the foreign glowing stick being pointed right at his chest, looking directly at those menacing green eyes.

_Only one person could have green eyes in his mind._

Although _her_ eyes being cold, distraught and distant at times, other times a crinkle on the sides showing her smile, that was almost a rare appearance to most people. Only he could make her smile.

"You have heart" the man with the flashy cape and =what not lowly spoke.

Suddenly all he felt in his heart was ice.

Clint's eyes knotted in confusion as his mind was suddenly taken over what was only described as cold and blue.

The coldness practically froze over all his emotions, the blue being the only thing diverting him to see. He felt himself suddenly looking at the man, not wanting to fight.

He was in the mans control.

Being held by three petty men as they interrogated Natasha, but she felt it was the other way round, in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of a small Russian district.

Their mood was tense where as she felt this as another day in the office. They even jumped when suddenly the phone started ringing from one of the men's pockets. Confusion fell over his face when he picked up the phone and his eyes diverted directly to Natasha.

"For her" he gruffly spoke, almost unable to understand through his accent.

She knew there was only one man who could wire his way through to communicating to her on this planet and be able to track her exact location.

As the phone was handed to her she tucked it on her shoulder leaning in. Her mouth curled into a smirk.

"Coulson" she started losing all 'fluentness' and accent in the russian tongue.

"Natasha we need you to clear this mission immediately" he replied cutting straight to the point as per usual.

"Sir, as tempting as that sounds I'm a little tied up quite literally. Idiots are telling me their whole plan" she scoffed nodding her head towards the awestricken men, who sent each other glances. She raised an eyebrow back.

Coulson sighed, clearly exhausted for some apparent reason. He was never exhausted.

"SHIELD has a new threat. I'm sure you of all people have been through one _particular_ file thats been on your interest. Saw the whole surveillance tape. The gods are back ever since Thor landed on earth we've been skeptical of a threat following. It's his brother and he's a little bit screwed up" Coulson replied.

Really, now?!

"This can wait Coulson. Fury will kill my ass if I don't get the intel on this mission. Besides why am I so important for this? You have a whole agency to choose from" she brushed off, not taking it all so seriously now.

He knew what would make her click.

"Natasha" he sighed shakily knowing that the outcome of this would be violent. Probably would get her out quicker too.

"Barton's been compromised" he said with a slight shake in his voice.

Her breathe hitched, she felt her stomach drop and she replaced her current mood into a clearly pissed off woman who shouldn't be messed with.

After Coulson was standing there for what felt like an hour he finally got a reply.

"Would you excuse me" she muttered before signaling the head of the wee dream team to collect the phone which was still hung on the line.

Through the phone Coulson could hear a sudden thud, followed by a lot of banging, smashing, a sound of a chain and finally footsteps pacing towards the phone.

Her voice heavily breathed up to the phone and she spoke.

"Where is he?" she asked, trying to keep her cool. Judging by her tone Coulson couldn't tell if she was asking where this new threat was or whether she was wanting Barton back already. Coulson chose to believe it was something in between.

"We don't know" he replied, raising his hands, scanning the office.

"What?" her voice snapped, suddenly exchanging back to her russian accent.

"We're working on it. Got every collection of surveillance and tracking's we can get"

"And nothing?! Jesus christ Coulson, with Clin-.. Barton's knowledge, the bastard could shut down the whole agency. He'll know where everything important lies. He'll know how to crack us" she shouted, starting to let confusion and worry take over in her mind. She had to mentally count to ten to calm herself down.

"What does the bastard even want?" she growled, her voice echoing through the warehouse.

"What he wanted was the Tesseract. He got it" Coulson hesitated, feeling regret coming out of his words. If he had just kept a closer eye then all those agents wouldn't of been lost. Especially his best. The one person he swore to look after and he was god knows where running around like some lunatic.

Natasha clenched her jaw. The cube fished out of the ice along with The Soldier. She had heard all the stories. What scared her most was knowing that humans were no longer the biggest threat. It secretly terrified her, no matter how tough her exterior.

"When can I get to you?" she sighed, wiping the sweat off her forehead, looking back at the men beaten up and one hanging from his ankle off the chain.

"We need you to take a diversion" Coulson replied curtly. "Got to handle the big guy"

Her eyes flickered in some sort of amusement. But the anger made it seem more of a screwed up amusement.

"Sir, you know I can handle Mr Stark. I've done it once before" she chuckled, keeping her voice low.

Coulson hesitated but came down to it. "No Romanoff. I mean the _real_ big guy".

She stopped pacing and her stomach dropped yet again.

What came out of her mouth was some colourful words in russian which left Coulson to hang up. Over head Natasha heard a familiar helicopter landing only paces away from her building.

After what was hours of a debriefing meeting in SHIELD HQ it only left everybody in the room asking more questions. It was such a major threat that the next day all required agents were ordered onto the helicarrier. That ship was only recently constructed and kept classified. It was Fury's decision to pull it out.

After everybody was dispersing out the room she heard the low and strong voice call her name.

Instead of facing Fury's usually intimidating expression she found it was one with.. sympathy?

"Sit for a moment" he sighed, pulling out a vacant chair around the board table.

She didn't oblige and sat down immediately. Fury looked to her trying to fish out something in her expression but he couldn't figure out what it was on her.

"Do you know what happened to Clint, Agent Romanoff?" he asked calmly, seeming exhausted. Her breath slightly hitched. She knew he knew what happened.

"No sir" she rapidly replied, desperately wanting to know, but trying to keep her cool and calm exterior that way.

"I saw it all" he said, sitting down on a chair not far from hers, sinking back slightly.

Natasha propped her elbows on the table and rested her head in between her hands.

"As you know his name is Loki. Brother of Thor. _A god_. What not many know are his powers. He has this wee fairy wand thing which contains many of his authority" he grumbled but then came back seriously with hesitation, looking up from a fixed spot on the wooden table "One power being _mind control_".

Silence hung over the room as she was not even breathing. She looked up meeting his gaze in what looked to be confusion mixed with a terrified glance. But it was so micro only a select few could point it out on her expression. She never liked to give away what she was thinking through her exterior.

He took her silence as a means for carrying on. She needed to know.

"Agent Barton's stance changed as some power went through his body. One minute he was himself the next he was standing with a blank expression" Fury said, mostly to himself still finding it all a shock. And he had a few surprises chucked at him during his job as Director.

"He was so powerfully under Loki's control that he.. that he killed four of our agents on an escape pursuit. We have the footage" he suddenly said, letting the words hang over the empty room.

Nick Fury saw one of his best agents suddenly crack for a second. Her knuckles whitened as she gripped firmly onto her head and sunk lower, almost touching the table.

"Romanoff, just understand that this is not human power anymore. We can't lose anymore agents so just look after yourself" Fury advised raising out of his seat and leaving her behind as she was frozen.

Eventually she too followed and walked out of the building, not glancing up to anybody but sliding smoothly past as if she wasn't there.

Walking back to her apartment in the pitch black and rain, Natasha felt worried for one of the first times since Clint had fished her out of her mess. He was unreliable on field at times but this was all out of her power.

She shared the apartment with him, basically living and breathing around each other.

At the start it situated like that because he knew she was unstable. She was suicidal and she grits her teeth every time she thinks about it. She was past all that fear.

He cared which frightened her and pushed him away even more. Eventually she learnt that was just his human nature, and most in fact. But no one had ever cared about her.

Sometimes she got a little taken back with how open yet respectful he could be. Always giving her space after a mission when she needed it, not even having to ask because he knew. What was a first for her was the fact that he hadn't dared to make a move on her. It might've been because unlike her targets he knew she was an assassin. Or it could've been his courtesy and all his respect. Maybe the reason she had hung around for so long.

Admittedly they had a few times when they got on each others nerves. He kinda grew out of his younger cockiness but he was still a smartass just to pull her strings. Heck, he even sometimes crossed the line with his humour when he knew the time was right, which would almost drive her to shoot him in the head, but right then all Natasha wanted was her partner back.

Looking into the empty apartment she could see what Clint left remained before he went off to _that_ mission. The surveillance and security ones. Natasha hated those ones but Clint had a far more patient persona. It was the sniper and observant skill in him.

Idiot could've tidied up the kitchen before he left, Natasha mused. But he was expected back that very next day, making it back before her.

Instead she was the one back, to worry if on the solo mission something bad had happened. Instead of wondering, she knew something had gone down.

She had no clue if he was alive, if he was okay.

_If he would ever be okay._

It was all for the job. They had no life outside of it and they both carried on because the only friends they had were each other.

What drove her mad was the fact that she only ever cared for one person who coincidentally ended up being in dangerous situations all the time.

She never called it love. It was a stupid and an unrealistic idea too many people had stuck in their heads. She owed him a lot which was what made her care. He'd saved her ass too many times to count and she repaid him back still feeling his kindness and accepting was too much and knowing that the debt could never be repaid.

Clint was the first person to show her it was okay to screw up. That it was okay to break down walls when nobody was watching. That even though life was always a little screwed up, he had her back. It took nine years of partnership for him to let her be herself. To be less controlled, less worried and more human. That was all Clint's doing although she never admitted it out loud. Especially never to Barton.

Now she was starting to understand the way life worked. It had less disappointments than before.

But she never let emotions get the better of her. At the start she would push him away but eventually she learnt to trust him, and now not doubting her decision to trust the archer who saved her from hell that day.

She stood their for what could've been ten minutes, hands feeling an ache. It was out of the context that she knew standing there wouldn't help him. She had to know for sure he was alive. But she didn't know how, so she occupied her mind into cleaning up. Although not being brought up for what you call normal, she liked having tidy surroundings in her space. Having the opportunity to finally have her own space some of the time made her realize just how special freedom was. Natasha had never had the privileges of owning her own apartment. No matter how crummy it was in others eyes, it was her sanctuary and escape. She could break down her walls in there. She even let Barton see that side of her that wasn't always head into the mission. Probably why he stayed by her side.

She ran the sink turning it to hot and piling the dirty dishes. He even forgot to switch off some of the lights.

She walked over muttering "God, Clint. You know our salary doesn't benefit enough for the hefty electricity bill. I will drop it on your ass when you get back".

_If you get back._

She scanned the apartment looking for any pillows accidentally knocked to the floor, any books not straightened, even some of his bloody socks not being taken to the laundry.

Sure he was precise and tidy on field but off he liked to balance it with some lovely mess. Lucky for him her patience was never worn out by him wanting to take a break from principles and directness.

She briskly walked back to the kitchen, switching the tap off and bracing both her hands on the edge of the bench, letting her head sink on what was to some described as weariness.

This was all quite new to her.

Not being dosed with whatever the Red room gave her, it started to catch up. She could still fend off many diseases trying to enter her body as it literally burnt off.

Only a few years ago had she learnt not to fear sleeping. The nightmares had decided to go.

She would eventually fall asleep but had a fear of not what met her mind but her physical surroundings.

Being alone made her fear that _he_ was coming back to take her and kill her for betrayal.

Having somebody watch over her made her feel untrustworthy. She didn't rely on many people as it was such a habit to feel betrayal.

Being approached off guard had always been her biggest fear under her old life catching up to her.

Suddenly her phone rang making her jump, breaking the eerie silence settling over the apartment.

"Yup" she answered, feeling half asleep but not looking forward to shutting her eyes.

"Natasha, Fury wanted me to pass this all on so please listen" Coulson said through the phone.

"Mm-hmm" she sighed, feeling her shoulder sag, holding her lean against the bench.

"We need you to understand that this is not anything we have ever dealt with. Complete new territory and we can't reassure you on anything" Coulson warned, Natasha feeling a hidden message.

"Sir?" she questioned asking him to press on.

"You know what I'm talking about" his voice lowered. He was referring to her partners life. Her jaw clenched to the point where she felt her teeth were going to break. He then carried on.

"We need you to make sure you cordon Steve Rogers and Bruce when you get on that ship" he said, making her stiffen. It all suddenly clicked together and she felt herself reply, suddenly feeling awake.

"Coulson, Hill told me your idea" Natasha sighed.

She listened to a silent phone, her almost knowing he didn't like the tone in her voice. All he got was complete doubt for this initiative.

"We are left with little to spare. We've lost one of our best, Natasha and this threatens the world. They need heroes to look up to" he reasoned, feeling his exterior break down.

She clenched her jaw and spoke her mind.

"Coulson, there are no such things as heroes! The world has to understand that they can't rely and idolize people who are in danger and can't make promises on anything!" she spat, leaning her head to the phone on her shoulder, as she felt her fists clench once again so she needed to occupy her mind back to dishes.

Breathe, Natasha.

"Fury is administrating this one but I'm not here to discuss your doubts on this Romanoff. The Director had one more thing left to say" Coulson replied calmly, her not understanding how he had any confidence in this.

Him being a man of important decisions she didn't see how this was at all appropriate.

Bringing unreliable and dangerous people together to form some sort of peppy team was never something Coulson would do.

And yet it was something Coulson would do. He had always managed to catch her off guard and surprise everybody.

"And what's that?" she cooly spoke.

"Make sure you _really_ get some sleep. You're going to need it" he said, before hanging up the phone, clearly occupied with the shit load of people he'd have to boss around.

Of course he knew she had trouble sleeping.

He knew everything. He knew things even Clint didn't know.

So she almost couldn't despise Coulson because he looked after her but in an odd way.

But she was still extremely pissed off all of a sudden and she slammed her phone down onto the bench letting the loud smack be the only sudden sound heard for the rest of the night she was alone.

And even though Fury had ordered her to get some sleep, she knew the chances were little especially with something new taking over her thoughts.

Doubts, worries and loneliness was all she felt.

In an underground run down cellar, somewhere in Europe, not much to his importance, Clint was working rapidly to uncover what Loki wanted.

He was still essentially him but not. He wasn't controlling his actions or his words or his self-control, but he could still think, on the half. Some sort of illusion he was in and it was screwing him over mentally. He couldn't separate good from bad and in whom he trusted was completely flipped which was terrifying himself. He was lethal. But he always had been but he was under his own control in those times.

Now it was a completely new story which would be costly.

The cold was sweeping over his body, masking what were his principles and sense from right to wrong.

He thought of Loki as a dark green monster, a god no less and yet another part yearned to please him and get for what he wished for.

"Agent Barton" he heard Loki's voice call not far behind him. Immediately Clint's body swiveled around, obeying his call.

"Infiltrating SHIELD's best asset's ... how could I do so?" he asked, with an additional grin.

"Are you asking for how to strike them at their weakest, sir?" Clint felt half his mind think and all his voice say.

"Exactly. Glad you are logical" Loki cackled.

"Well I would start by knowing what cracks them. Knowing the main points that can be broken to shut down everything" he replied almost as a uniform.

The god was silent for a moment pondering this information.

"Excellent. Barton, do tell me all you know on particular people. Yes, this way I can know for sure what I'm diving into" he said almost as a jest and amusement. He paused with his laugh and drew to his bright blue eyes "Starting with Natasha Romanoff".

Over all the coldness Clint felt his heart instantly stop. Internally, over the part of his mind he had some fuzzy sense to he was screaming _you fucking evil asshole. How can you know who she is?! If you touch her; I will kill you. Even go near her and I will kill you._

What was defeating Clint in his mind was that he knew he had no control. He didn't like to think of what was to come next. He didn't want to know what Loki had twirling at the back of his mind. He knew himself that Loki wouldn't be asking all this unless he could pick at Clint's thoughts.

Loki could see the struggle and hesitation Clint was fighting over. He could _hear_ it too. He found it extremely entertaining and made him yearn for more power. This was what leading felt like.

"Agent Barton?" Loki hummed, after about a minute of silence.

"Yes sir?" he replied automatically but Loki could spot the pure furious anger in his eyes before they dulled back to the intense bright blue. His hands shook and clenched for a second almost wanting to be raised to give the bastard a piece of his mind before he remotely shut down his anger.

"Where would be the best place to start with Romanoff? Or is it okay if I call her _Tasha_?" he chuckled, sitting himself down on a vacant chair, patiently waiting to see this man almost want to kill himself with hatred and betrayal.

Again he heard an aggressive growl in Clint's thoughts followed by _you sick bastard. Get the fuck out of my head._

His exterior showed a calm man completely detached from his thoughts like he was two different people.

You humans are all so _pathetic_ with feelings. It's sickening.

He would certainly make sure this one paid the price in the end. Along with his precious partner he clearly held close in his mind.

* * *

**Okay okay I am going to throw two questions at you:**

**One) Do you think Natasha wants to kill Loki or reach Clint first? Whats more her style?**

**Two) Who else is completely dead over what just happened at Comic-Con?! Joss you sly fox! What's the most anticipated movie in the Marvel franchise? I so wish they made a Clintasha film :(**

**Anyway I am on holidays at the moment and almost have too much time on my hands so I am going to be writing but I would adore you if you could answer those questions and flick me a review or even just a hello! **

**Keep you posted-**

**H/B**


	4. Chapter 4

Forgot to mention as a credit: I don't own marvel or any of the characters written in this story.

**Things are about to get messy ;)**

**I'm evil like that..**

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As soon as she got on that helicarrier there was one thing ringing in her mind. With all the technology she could track down where the hell he was. She was more hands on when it came to her training. She wasn't a patient sniper like her partner.

Although her main field did not include technology. Sure she could work it but not to an advanced level of any usage on this ship. It was filled with codes and firewalls that was all quite off-putting. She knew the only way she could find some intel was through another agent more specifically in controls.

This struck her as new territory. She never asked for help from anybody.

She approached a younger looking agent who was at one of the computers on the main deck. Up behind she could see Bruce, Fury and Steve all talking about god knows what.

"I need you to tell me right now because nobody is, about how close you are to finding Loki" Natasha said, crouching down to the bewildered agent.

"But Agent Hill gave strict orders to keep that all under wraps until we know for sure" the woman replied, feeling Natasha'a impatient glare which was making her want to shrink into her chair.

"Look, my partner is stuck in there and either you can help me or I will just find a different way" she said through gritted teeth, letting her calm exterior crack. "I need to warn you though, I am quite unreliable with technology and one false move I could shut down the whole system".

That was technically a lie because she knew what each sector of a file was but she made it darn convincing. She was always good at acting.

The woman met Natasha's face and sighed.

"Well you are a SHIELD agent" she began, shrugging slightly. Natasha's lips curved into a small smile. One step closer to finding the bastard.

"Agent Romanoff" the deep voice boomed from behind making Natasha's mind panic.

"I'll get back to you later" she muttered to the frightened looking woman before swiveling around to meet Nick Fury's gaze.

"There will be no need to go on a man-hunt. Coulson himself tracked Loki's location. Stuttgart, Germany. Reasons unknown at this stage as to why the place is a matter of importance but we know where he is going" he started, making Natasha feel slightly satisfied.

"You'll be taking this one with Captain Rogers. Plane leaves at 1800 so I'd gear up" he advised before turning on his heel.

She looked up to the higher deck to see Captain was looking directly at her and he formally nodded before turning away.

"Let's see what the old timer can do" she chuckled under her breath before walking away.

Natasha could observe from above in the jet, the mass of powers the demi-god. As he fired a shot coming out of his staff Natasha swerved to the side starting to understand what Fury meant. This was all out of her league. But heck she would give it a shot to take him down.

She could see Captain Rogers struggling partially as he was trying to get to grips that Loki could double, no quadruple. No matter that as he was cornered a beeping sound and red sign turned up on Natasha's communication screen. _System Over Ridden._

Her face fell in confusion before she looked up with a sudden smirk as she recognized the AC/DC music blasting over the coms.

"Miss me?" she heard the overly cocky man muse as he flew down below the jet and aimed all his weaponry on Loki suspiciously making him lower his weapon.

"That seems too easy" Natasha muttered to the senior agent who was seated behind her trying to fix Tony's hacking.

As he was escorted in, Natasha swiveled round in her pilot's seat and glared daggers at the smug looking demi-god, who was choosing to stay silent.

She gave him a studying look as he suddenly met her gaze discreetly making her shudder. His smirk was a little too frightening. It seemed like Loki was pulling everything out about her. Like there was nothing she could hide.

"Agent Romanoff? Are we taking off anytime soon?" Steve asked seeing the agent freeze as her eyes were glued onto Loki. She snapped out of her gaze and gave a small nod and turned around, seeming uncertain and almost afraid.

Tony side glanced at Steve giving an uncertain look.

"You know her?" Steve muttered almost audibly to Tony.

"Oh yeah, quite well" he replied crossing his arms. "Back a few years she was working undercover without me realizing, sort of assessing me on behalf of SHIELD. One of the first women to not be crawling all over me" Tony scoffed, finding the one turn down hurtful.

"I wonder why" Steve muttered and Tony gave him a dull look.

"I actually do wonder why, Captain Spangly" the billionaire shot back, giving him a nod.

Captain rolled his eyes but proceeded his thoughts "I think I could answer that one. She has a partner in field" Steve calmly replied, finding this man slightly childish and frustrating to talk to.

They both turned to face Loki who gave a breathless laugh but said nothing.

"Partner's with benefits is what you're implying?" Tony skipped to conclusions after a moments silence, catching Rogers off guard.

Natasha almost swiveled her head around as they didn't realize over the sound of the jet engine she could hear every word they were saying. If she wasn't controlling a plane she would be choking Tony half to death. She seemed to have a bit more sympathy for the old man. He seemed too polite to completely catch on to Tony's modern ways of women knowledge. Instead she decided to swerve the plane slightly to the right making the two men stumble to the side.

"Turbulence" she called out, trying to keep her anger to a minimum.

After that subtle move she heard little talk and sunk back into her chair, finding slight tenseness leave her body.

She found working with men who bickered a lot very dysfunctional. She was growing impatient sitting at the large table, seeming to find little was actually being done to find Clint. If nobody else was going to pull Loki's strings she would have to do so herself.

She walked into the cell-room finding that there was little to be afraid of as there was no way Loki could physically make his way out of there on his own. She was always good at walking in being unheard but never unseen, as her red hair was always a stand-out.

She stood there, watching as Loki was pacing up and down, having something predictably evil stirring in his messed up, power-hungry brain. He then paused realizing Natasha's presence.

"You know, not many people can sneak up on me like that" he chuckled lowly, pacing closer to her but she knew the glass was keeping her safe.

"But you figured I'd come" she replied, folding her arms over and standing strongly, not moving a muscle.

"It wasn't very hard to place out. But oh what you are here for is the very tricky question" Loki mused, seeming to take on an all too sarcastic tone. Natasha narrowed her eyes, pressing for him to speak further.

"The desperation reeks off you, Natasha. You are a cold-blooded killer but even I can pull out what every action you make analyses to. I took something from you and you're not all that happy with me".

Natasha's face turned sour. "What you've taken isn't mine".

"But you're desperate to get _him_ back. Oh come on, this is in some sorts possession" he darkly seethed, finding her piteous.

That was a first for Natasha.

Loki knew he could manipulate her into cracking.

"I may be a cold-blooded killer but I happen to have some human instincts. Try to understand that what you are yearning to rule is something much bigger than yourself. Humans _are not_ made to be ruled. You can label me as something from my past bu-"

"Oh please! This is where you've caught the wrong side. You can't ever take away what has happened. No matter how hard you try to forget your past in the Red Room it will _never go away. _You're asking for forgiveness and claim you can have normality but you're ledger is _gushing_. You're begging for something you know you can never have. But believe me, Agent Barton is no more virtuous than yourself. Stop trying to pretend it all never happened. It show's weakness in not facing up. It's _pathetic_" he snarled, making Natasha pace back slowly as her mind was racing.

He knew.

"Oh yes, your lovely Barton told me everything. Drakov's daughter. The hospital fire. Petrovitch." he slowly spoke letting it rip it's way into her head. She froze, her eyes showing what looked to be fear.

"Stop acting like you are the hero" he spat making her flinch back.

She counted to ten taking slow breaths in and out to calm her racing mind down. She could handle this. He was wanting to crack her, that's all he wanted.

"And what happens to Barton once you're done with all this foolishness?" she spoke up, noticing her voice slightly hitch. She was aiming to divert the subject so he couldn't be satisfied with her reaction on her past. That time was over.

"Once I've won you'd be long gone. But this is the part which I like. I think I'd leave the fun to kill you in Barton's hands" he started and his voice suddenly turned threatening and dark "I'll make sure he kills you slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you'll fear and bare weakness. After he's created the mess he'll wake just in time to see what he's done. And when he screams your name I'll split his skull!" he seethed, expressing every word in pure anger as he slammed his fist against the glass making Natasha stumble back. For once her eyes were watering as she felt the amount of fear she held come out and clenched her jaw to subdue what she knew would leak from her watery eyes. She paced further away finding even looking at the smug demi-god sickening.

He held the silence waiting for her to react as he felt he had etched into her mind.

Breathe Natasha. He's just manipulating you. You've dealt with it many times before.

"You're a monster" she lowly spoke, keeping her back from his.

"Oh no" Loki laughed menacingly "You're the ones that dragged the monster here"

Suddenly Natasha felt her attention divert to his message and she turned around changing her mood so suddenly that it making Loki's eyebrows knot.

"So... Banner" she nodded "That's your play"

"What?" he breathed, his mind racing slightly as to how she could've possibly pulled that out. Barton did mention her intelligent skill sets but never saw it to this standard.

Natasha nodded letting a small smile appear on her face as she stalked away.

Before she left him trapped and alone she said one more thing "Glad to enlighten you that you've managed to piss off one more person. Not a smart move. Thank you for your cooperation". She staunched further away and as she closed the door she muttered "_Dumbass_".

Clint had made his way into the helicarrier. His advantage being he knew his way around as he had over ridden the server and managed to map out the relatively new air craft.

Crashing down the ship he found particularly fun. Or it could've been Loki's mind correcting his previous thoughts.

He was pacing head down a narrow ledge running above generators when he heard slight footsteps on his tail. He gripped onto his bow and swiftly reached for an arrow hanging over his shoulder and pointed it directly at the woman he was programmed to target.

His strong and over powering colour of blue in his eyes was an abnormality which struck Natasha that she would have to put personal feelings aside and try to fix him before Loki could manipulate his mind further.

Clint released his arrow not expecting Natasha to be so close in that split second as she swerved to the side, holding a tight grip onto his weapon as the arrow flew past.

She swiftly snatched it out of his hold and he clawed into his pocket for his knife and took a swing as her neck missing my mere centimeters. The next swing he took was outstepped as he found was usual when he sparred with Natasha.

He twisted his forearm so the knife was pointed directly at her pale neck. She used all her force to push the knife away but she knew that he was stronger and under Loki's control he would cause more harm. She did the only rational thing she could and bit his arm making him growl as he dropped the knife. Now that they rid of the weapons the physical fight would be at an even rate so they were literally kicking, punching and grappling trying to fend off each others blows before Natasha found the upper hand and wrapped her hand behind his neck, shoving Clint's head against the bar ending with a loud bang.

He dropped to his knee's and groaned in pain. Natasha stood back breathing heavily as she watched her partner crumble to the floor. This is what Loki had brought them to.

He made her so sick she felt bile rise in her throat as she watched Clint slowly start to back into sense.

When he looked up his eyes weren't the overpowering and terrifying blue but his softer toned eyes looking up, his eyebrows knotted in confusion.

"_Tasha_?" he breathed, raising his hand to his head.

For all sake and fury she swung one more punch at his face, afraid that the bright blue would tinge back into his eyes. As he dropped to the floor, clearly unconscious Natasha leant back against the barrier crouching down and let herself calm down.

Same trick she always did, learning from Clint.

_Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth, count to ten with eyes closed and open at ten with one final breath._

It worked when she would find herself in a pool of her sweat waking up from nightmares. It worked when horrors from her past would come back to haunt her. It happened when something she cared for was gone.

When she had finished bringing her thoughts back to what she knew as a bare minimum but was beyond advanced she dared herself to look up at Clint who was lying face down on the metal floor. She didn't touch him as if he woke up he would either still be under Loki's power, or find the affection out of the normal. Although the situation that took place was out of the ordinary she was still afraid of showing she cared.

Natasha knew that Clint knew she cared. It wasn't ever obvious gestures. It was just Clint knowing that she let him in. That made him feel special because he was positive that he was the first person in her life she cared about. The trust was clearly there. The thoughts were clearly there. But they weren't mushy about talking about things like emotions. If they ever did it was out of the context of pain, such as fear.

She sat there thinking over what had just happened, letting it sink into her mind.

Being dragged around the helicarrier by a big green rage monster.

Loki had cracked Bruce and she saw the desperation and apology in his eyes as he gave one final look at her before he roared, the sound making her flinch.

The way she was thrown against the metal made her realize her head was throbbing and she was still slightly shaking after Thor and smashed through the wall and taken The Hulk along with him.

She would have to find another time to wrap it all around her head. The enormity in which this all was made her doubt herself.

Being pulled from her thought's she heard her earpiece crack slightly before Nick Fury's voice took over.

"Agent Coulson is down, I repeat Agent Coulson is down" his voice sounding grave, exhausted and defeated.

"They're sending a medical team" another agent called in.

"They've been" Fury sighed hesitantly "They called it".

Natasha felt her heart drop and gripped onto the bar's to hoist herself up as a team of agents were coming her way. No matter the situation she had known from a young age that seeming weak was the biggest flaw in her field. She could battle internally but on the outside she needed composure.

She briefly looked over to see they were dragging Clint's limp body and she immediately followed, trying to find something good out of the defeat.

That was another thing Clint had taught her.

_Just try not to think too much about what the past has inflicted, no matter the cost. Pull one thing out of the mistake and turn it around._

But right then Natasha had nothing.

Her handler was dead, her partner had just tried to kill her, nobody but Steve and Tony were responding and Loki had escaped as she heard through the earpiece.

For one of the first times in her life she was beginning to doubt the judgement of her director and wasn't confident to know what she was diving into. Many missions were sketchy and unreliable but bringing magic into the picture was what made her so uncertain.

Magic was what had turned Clint against her and she sure as hell wasn't going to stop fighting until Loki's head was on a stick.

* * *

**Okay secretly I like Loki a lot. He's kinda trying to make Natasha open her eyes a bit... in a subtle and purely evil way! **

**There are heaps of you reading but I'd love to hear from you all! Don't be shy, I love hearing from you guys! :)**

**H/B **


	5. Chapter 5

**Bonjour! Just like to ask if everybody the hundreds of you who are here could you please just review! I don't feel the motivation which sucks because now I'm back at school so the updates will probably be once every four days until mid-september so I really apologize! Believe me it gets more exciting it's just the first parts are kinda the base. Enjoy!**

* * *

Natasha could see the struggle as Clint was fighting to get Loki out of his mind. His muscles were shaking and he clenched his fists heavily, almost trying to break free from the restraints he was under. The coldness was starting to disappear and he met eyes with Natasha. His face was clenched, the nerves in his neck showing and his tired eyes firmly shut.

"Fight it, Clint" she murmured, standing a safe distance before she was confident he was fine. He let a massive huff out and he seemed completely aware of his surroundings. He let his head hang back in exhaustion as the heat was regaining in his body.

"Thank god" he breathlessly praised as he faced the ceiling. Natasha moved from her stance and rapidly undid his restraints around his wrists.

She then walked away quickly to grab a glass of water, not realizing he would catch her wrist. Immediately she jumped into panic mode and twisted his arm making him flinch back. She looked to his eyes and her heart dropped to find it was just _Clint's_ blue and a sense of pain written in them.

Loki had made Natasha fear him.

She dropped her grip around his arm immediately and pinched the bridge of her nose starting to feel it all crash down on her. She sat on the edge of the bed, staring at a single spot on the opposite wall. Clint swung his legs over the bed so he sat next to her. She could feel his gaze burn into the side of her face.

"How did you get him out?" he asked, wanting to take away all the uncomfortable feeling.

"Cognitive Recalibration" she sighed, feeling his pause as a misunderstanding "I hit you really hard in the head".

"Thanks" he abruptly replied hearing his voice sound lighter than before.

She looked up to his searching face and he found struggle written on hers.

"It's good that it's going away" she mumbled, placing her grip on the edge of the bed.

"I don't think you understand" he shook his head. "He wiped my brain clean. Pulled it out and made me something new".

"But you know that I understand how that feels" she tensed, making him silent.

"Tasha.. how many agents did I-"

"Don't" she interrupted with a shake of her head. "Don't pile the guilt, Clint. You can't blame yourself. This was Loki's doing, not yours. This was magic that was out of our hands. Nothing we were ever trained for" she spoke slowly, making sure it got into his brain. The first thing she knew was Clint would be blaming himself for the death of so many agents and almost crashing the ship which would've killed thousands.

She took a shaky breath and it was the only sound to be heard in the small room until he spoke up. "Nat, I've never seen you so worked up before" he paused before he asked what was on his mind "This is all out of your league. You're a spy, not a soldier... What did Loki do to you?".

"He did nothing. It's jus-..." she struggled to put into words as her eyebrows furrowed. Clint noticed her voice strain almost unnoticeable to anybody else. But this was his partner. He knew most of her actions like the back of his hand.

"Natasha" he whispered making something turn in her stomach. There was always a sense with him saying her name which would ignite _something_. She didn't know what it was exactly but she would never tell.

"I thought you were gone" she mumbled, tearing her gaze away.

Clint nodded slightly, finding what she said sound like fear. He was about to speak up when she interrupted.

"He said some things which I've _tried_ not to claim to be true but the bastard has got a point" she muttered, her jaw clenching and Clint's mind clicked.

Oh god. Loki knew all that Clint knew.

"I'm _so sorry_" he replied, his voice catching slightly in his throat. He promised her he would never let anybody threaten her with her past. It was ironic coming from the man who had sworn he would never let anybody know. But when he looked at her he saw understanding and forgiveness which was rare coming from her.

Natasha's lips curled into a small smile making Clint's face knot into confusion.

"The punch to the face kinda made up for it" she spoke sounding slightly amused, making him sigh in relief.

"You could've done a lot worse" he replied, spying the knives which were cleverly hidden to most but even Clint knew where she kept them all. "Guess it's not that time of month when pissing Tasha off is deadly".

Her eyes shot daggers at him but he didn't stand down as he laughed.

"One more feminine joke and I. Will. End. You" she threatened.

"All of our partnership and not once have you followed up with your threats" he shot back, standing equally as she.

"Be thankful I have self-control" she murmured, her face dangerously close to his face.

"You're less sadistic to when I first met you. Also less frightening" Clint quietly laughed, not backing down.

Her face screwed up and she backed away. "Jesus Clint even under Loki's control you could've considered taking a shower" she groaned.

"You don't smell all that fresh either" he almost _whined. _What a child.

"Oh please. At least _my_ attire covers most of the stench" she felt herself say. Okay, Clint had turned her into a whinge too.

"Well your attire doesn't hide _anything_" he swiftly spoke, deciding to take the plunge. Natasha froze and suddenly remembered the rage he would cause her to have almost all the time.

"You're sounding awfully possessive today" she scoffed raising from her seat, needing to clear from his body odor.

"It's not being possessive... just observant of how other men look at you!" Barton replied following her with his eyes. She groaned.

"Hey I _never_ stare at your ass like most men would" he defended.

Natasha wanted to deny it because sometimes she felt the need to but she knew he was right. He had a bit more decency surprisingly. He was also very intelligent which she _almost_ sometimes overlooked.

Her expression was priceless as he could see she was trying to shoot something back but he caught her in his little trap.

"Didn't you miss this?" he chuckled.

"No" Romanoff flatly replied "I missed having my partner" she sidetracked making Clint freeze. The words _my partner_ etched into his brain making him feel all warm. She saw the shit-eating grin suddenly grow on his face which made her inwardly roll her eyes.

"Oh don't go all mushy on me" she groaned.

"I'm not! It's just nice to hear you say that" he grinned making her shake her head slightly as her red curls fell across her face. There was a comfortable silence that settled over the room.

Natasha had almost forgotten where she was which was highly uncommon in her experience. "Wash up" she shortly said before turning on her heel about to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" he asked, not childishly, not playfully, but back into all seriousness which would commonly screw with her mind. It amazed her how quickly he could focus.

"I've just got to go do something" she replied, her voice slightly faltering making Clint narrow his eyes.

"Nat" he quickly spoke making her freeze. She felt her heart drop as she knew she'd have to tell him. She wasn't feeling it was in her conscious but in feeling that leaving it would cause more pain.

Natasha turned back and slowly sat on the edge of the bed and Clint joined her, not one bit enjoying the look on her face.

"What is it?" he reluctantly asked, knowing that whatever she was to say wasn't easy.

"Clint.. Coulson..he, well he..he was killed" she lowly spoke, feeling the bitterness and rage rise in her throat. The putrid anger conversed to her silent partner sitting beside her but for a different reason.

This was all his fault. One of his best friends was dead because of him. It wouldn't of happened had Clint not invaded. Had he not crash everything. Had he not let Loki control his mind. Had he not been on that mission guarding the one cube which was screwing everything up for him.

The world was certainly making him pay for what he had done. Plenty of times in his life had he felt the world make him suffer for all he had done but now this was just too much.

His handler died because of him. Stupid him who isn't worth any of it.

Clint blinked rapidly as he felt his eyes water and sting, catching Natasha off guard.

"Clint, I'm so sorry" she desperately whispered, letting the pain be heard in her voice.

He gave her an absence as his gaze was fixed at one spot in the room. It had been five minutes of heavy silence which weighed down on Natasha speaking before she saw him stir slightly. She met his gaze and met the expectant grieving.

"It's okay to talk to me" Natasha quietly said, deciding to throw away her own thoughts right that second. She would have to be the one to comfort him, as much as he would push even her away she wouldn't back down. He didn't deserve to pile the guilt. He was too decent for that.

Natasha observed the way his shoulders sagged like he was going to collapse under his own weight. She eventually felt herself say "And it's okay to hold me".

Clint looked up with a searching glance knowing that even deep down she was feeling reluctant to show this side of her but his heart was warmed by the fact that she was trying. They both watched as his hand slowly raised to her arm and he gripped her tightly before suddenly pulling his weight into her, making her catch her breath.

He felt her stiffen ever so slightly as he pulled her into his bone-crushing embrace. In that moment he needed some other human emotion to grip onto. He needed her to let her guard down for just that moment so he could cope. He was silently begging for her to just let her guard down, taking away the thought of where they were for just one moment. Like they were in the comfort of their own crummy apartment.

Natasha knew he wasn't a weak man but this response just showed the enormity of how much he looked up to Coulson, like his own father. Like his best friend. Because he was practically both those things.

Phil Coulson bared things Natasha couldn't handle talking about with Clint. He had more guts than her, he held higher morals and he was an all-round better person than she could ever be.

She admits that she can be a downright bitch to Clint when she chooses, now more commonly to set him off as she found some satisfaction in it, but also when she chose she could be the caring friend. As reluctant at it may seem she knew she owed him that much.

She responded to his tight hold by eventually wrapping her arms around his neck making him sigh almost audibly as he sank into her hold. She felt his hand reach to her head as he lightly held a red strand of her hair which smelt of smoke, sweat and something else which was simply a pleasant Natasha smell. He twirled her hair between his slightly shaking fingers.

He found it highly sadistic how he like that combination of obscure smells.

Any other day she would've punched his square in the jaw for showing intimacy but she knew that now wasn't the time to be The Black Widow. Right in that moment she'd be Tasha, his unwillingly caring partner and friend.

"I'm surprised you still hang around with a nutcase like me" he breathlessly whispered, his warm breath setting into her hair. She felt a slight shiver run down her spine but ignored it completely.

"I could say the same thing to you" she replied, more seriously than intended. He could've killed her back on day one and really to that day she still didn't know exactly why he didn't just follow Coulson's orders. She took a few guesses but never dared to ask. She was almost afraid of knowing.

There was a slight pause between him twirling her hair when she said "He would want you to join us and finish what he intended".

He pulled back, but still gripping her shoulders tightly.

"Who is 'us', Nat?" he asked, not out of suspicion.

"I don't know" Natasha shook her head "Who ever is left".

Clint was the first to tear his gaze away and he rose from the bed making his way to the tap to wash his face and sober to the fact that he would eventually have to stop pretending he didn't have a job to finish. The sensation on the cold water hitting his face brought him back to earth.

_Damn Tasha_, he thought, _you certainly amaze me how I can forget where I am within your control._

He wouldn't dare speak it. Not unless he wanted his head on a stick.

"It sure would be satisfying to shoot an arrow through Loki's eye socket. Might gain a little satisfaction" Clint muttered, more to himself as he stared back at his exhausted face.

"Yeah? Get in the queue" Natasha scoffed quietly but she knew Clint could hear her. He tore his gaze away from the distraught man staring back at him and met her intense gaze as he knew she was serious. He could tell when she was seeking revenge, although not a common occurrence considering Natasha is always the one to receive revenge, but she never really held grudges. The only other thought she had of somebody was that they were not to be trusted, always keeping her on her heels.

Clint had a thought that this revenge came from Loki harming Clint but immediately something in his mind told him that no, that wasn't how Natasha worked. Sure she was caring but would never be that devoted.

The amount of times over the years that Clint tried to step forward, approach her problems and protect her was now countless. He learnt that she wasn't a typical woman who had a hunch in her that a man could always protect her. She never needed somebody to look out for her which is why she so often pushed away his defensiveness. He knew that Natasha wouldn't pay it back by being protective.

There was always _something_ Natasha hadn't told him, which was really quite a fair bit. But the longer she stuck around, the far more impatient he became which was completely out of his characteristic. He really wanted to know why Natasha was the way she was. He wanted her to bare down all her walls and just confess everything she has done wrong so he could feel the same.

Clint Barton wasn't a stupid man which is why he had only ever told Natasha around the same amount about his past. Just the basic outlines and never went into details. The details is what brought the nightmares. It's what brought them both nightmares.

Their silence that settled over was not long lasted as Steve Rogers came in, standing cautiously back when he met Clint's gaze. Steve diverted his look to Natasha who gave him a reassured nod. He figured he could trust Natasha as soon as she arrived, even though she kept many things at bay, whether he was aware or not was out of Natasha's knowledge.

"Do you have a suit?" he asked now more to both of them.

"Yeah" Clint replied for the both of them.

"Then suit up" he answered, letting a small smile appear as he staunched out of the room with a determined look. "Meet me by the hanger in ten".

"Look's like the party isn't over yet" Natasha muttered making Clint let out a small laugh. She secretly found it quite an achievement when she made him laugh. She could do it more often but she didn't usually swing by to humour.

Natasha walked over to the metal table and picked up Clint's bow which was kept well away about five minutes previous. Her hands ran smoothly along the rim of the bow and she felt his body heat behind her, even if he was standing a good meter away.

"You like to keep things old fashioned" Natasha muttered, her eyes scanning over the ancient weapon but advanced in high tech.

"Hardly. Just my baby is the classic" he scoffed, making Natasha turn around with an amused cocked eyebrow.

"_Your baby_?" she repeated, her heated gaze burning any man down but Clint Barton.

"Yes" he evenly replied, sending a glance back to her, which in same would make any woman or man stand down. Assassins.

"Does your baby have a name?" she teased, but showing no childish whine like a normal person, but instead keeping her voice low and sarcastic.

"No" he all to quickly replied, making Natasha laugh to herself. As soon as the smile to herself vanished she shot back into a serious tone making Barton slightly scared. Surely he was never quite like that.

"Are you ready?" he asked, hesitantly after silence took over as the two agents stood just looking at each other. Natasha had spent days thinking Barton was dead so the thought of wrapping her head around that her partner was okay would take a while. But she needed to savor all she could as they were about to take a plunge into the battle of the unknown.

"Yes" she nodded curtly, picking up her weapon of 'widow's bites' attaching them to her wrists with a click.

"Loki messed with the wrong assassins" Barton darkly laughed, turning and staunching out the door with Natasha following hot on his heel. She found nothing more satisfactory on field then a determined Hawkeye. She kept her smirk inwards as she felt ready to screw Loki over time and time again, to make him pay, to make him suffer. Nobody touches Barton on her watch. Hypocritical, she knew it was as she hated him always treading over her business but this time it hit too close to home. It was a personal threat and she promised herself she would avenge her partner, whether he was aware of it or not.

Certainly what Natasha had said to Clint was right.

_This was nothing they were ever trained for. _

It all really dawned on Barton when he was holding his stance, observing the sheer chaos covering New York. He pushed his initial thoughts to the back of his mind as he always did on missions. Emotional capacity could be dealt with later.

Even if there was a gaping hole in the sky which had an ongoing supply of extraterrestrial beings that were out to kill everybody and destroy all structure in it's path. Not to mention the massive monster which had the beings stringed to it.

If that threat wasn't evident Hawkeye would've found the aiming practice an absolute entertainment that could keep him going for hours. It was too bad they had to be evil.

With each accurate shot he was taking down the strays as they unfolded chaos in the sky.

Through his earpiece he could hear the madness the others were dealing with but one voice caught him in particular as it was a call for his name.

"Barton, Stark is a bit preoccupied so I was just wondering if you could watch my tail" she said, a hint of uncertainty showing in her voice.

"What- where are you?" Clint asked, holding his finger to his ear to receive more clarity above all the noise. He was scanning his perimeter frantically as he could hear through his com a massive amount of noise.

"Mass of flying aliens heading towards Stark's overly obvious and stupid tower?" she tested, knowing fully that Tony was on the line.

"Well excuse you" the billionaire coughed being cut short by Barton as he spotted the scene she was describing.

"Is that you at the front?!" he asked, almost not believing it. She was straddled onto an obviously dead alien controlling the hovercraft with the swerving of its arms.

"Yeah?" she responded wondering why he sounded so bewildered.

"What the hell are you doing, Nat?"

"Um, improvising" she said with full uncertainty making him nervous. She heard the silence through the com and broke it with a snarl.

"Now are you going to stop fucking around and help take down some of the bastards or do I have to find my own way?"

"Yes dear" he responded rolling his eyes, taking a careful shot at the first couple of aliens on her tail setting off explosions but he paused when he saw Loki, inching closer the more she swerved.

Clint took the initial shot aiming right for the bastards head but he stuttered when after he took the shot, Loki caught it, not seemingly flinching whatsoever. This guy was a fucking psycho.

"Tash" Clint warned, keeping his bow in the direct line of Loki's head as they headed upwards towards the Tesseract. She turned her head and instantly started panicking over her gut feeling plan.

"I need you to fire a explosive at my craft. Think you could take the shot?" she huffed, continuously diverting her course until Loki was off her tail.

His eyes widened "Nat, I can certainly take the shot but why would I want to?!" he shouted, swiveling round and taking down a chituari approaching him. He stepped over an yanked out the bow and went back to aiming it over in Natasha's direction, waiting for her call.

"Just do what I say" she growled, heading upwards towards the roof of Stark tower.

"Okay, now!" she shouted and leapt off the craft just in time before Clint's bow caused as explosion, taking down five other aliens and Loki who rolled onto the helicopter pad of Stark Tower, quite violently. Natasha hovered in the air making Barton hold his breath and he started panicking when she was out of his precise vision over the roof.

She roll landed onto the gravel landing on the roof not far from where the tesseract portal stood and her back smacking the wall hard.

"Nat?" a voice asked in her ear.

"Jesus, get back to work" she groaned, clenching her neck and standing up. Clint's mouth turned into an upward smile. She would be the death of him.

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**Oh look the review box is just below!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks so much for the reviews! made me motivated and i actually wasn't going to update this for another wee but see... makes me want to write more! It seems my story in my opinion in a bit of a yawn-fest but believe me something will happen... just wait ... *evil laughing***

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It took all Clint's willpower as he stood over the cowered Loki not to let go of the arrow aimed directly at his eye. There was an odd click in his mind which made him feel slightly macho, keeping that secret, as he stood alongside the demi-god, the man in the high-tech armor, the super soldier, the green monster and of course his bad-ass woman of a partner.

"In all fairness... I could really use that drink now" Loki sighed, Clint gaining satisfaction at seeing_ him_ kneel.

"Is his strength of keeping control after a drink as small as I suspect?" Tony asked, finding this all too humorous to handle. Hulk's slight grunt/laugh was accompanied.

"I wouldn't count on it" Natasha muttered, narrowing her eyes as Clint started to lower his bow. She knew Barton could tell Loki had finally decided to give up. He analyzed long enough to predict some moves and actions. Loki was too public and predictable in a sense, but only for the two assassins to really understand as they had dealt with many nut-cases through their years of their hell-hole job.

"Do you have banks on Asgard? Because you're going to be in a shit load of debt to pay for the damages" Stark spoke up once again. Loki lowered his gaze as all six of them stared him down. But he kept silent and did so until he was back on his own world, held captive by his own brother in the Asgardian prison.

Trying to sleep that night was a complete miss for almost everybody, especially the two assassins who shared the small apartment, the walls too thin so the cry's of nightmares were audible.

Clint was the first to fall into the hell hole in his mind. In his dream he was under Loki's spell, except being able to tell the difference from right and wrong. His mind could think straight but his actions wouldn't connect. Images of him repetitively stabbing his partner in the abdomen as she was strained, helpless and crying, with nothing Clint could do to stop himself. Her practically sobbing which was a rare occurrence as she begged for him to stop. He felt his mouth say "I should've killed you on that first day" but his mind screamed "Liar" which was what Natasha heard when she crept her head around his bedroom door.

She watched for ten or so minutes which to any other would've been creepy but she could witness the pain and turmoil in his head. It disturbed her how he could keep all of this internally a struggle.

"Nat, I'm sorry" he cried as it came out as a muffle into his pillow, as his arms and hands shook, the veins in his neck bulging and sweat beating off his skin. "No!" he now shouted sitting upright, with his eyes wildly open. Natasha jumped a little at his sudden burst and almost quietly shut the door when she heard him whisper her name in a hoarse and tired voice.

She sighed and walked back in seeing his messy state and sat down beside him.

"Sorry" he apologized, looking up seeming a bit embarrassed.

"_Why_ are you sorry?" she whispered.

"I'm sorry you had to see that" Clint replied helplessly shrugging, letting his posture sag.

"Clint, we're partners. There's going to be days where we crack and when they happen we know how to approach it" Natasha said forcefully as she barely understood how to approach this one. Silence hung over the room for a good few minutes before Clint broke it off with his initial thoughts.

"Trouble sleeping?"

"I haven't tried" she swiftly answered making Clint's expression fall even further. "You know perfectly why I can't".

Natasha instinctively lowered herself onto Clint's bed making his face knot into confusion.

"You aren't the only one" he replied making her scoff.

"Yeah I think I saw that for myself"

Clint chuckled slightly, even if the point was completely sadistic to any normal human being. They were anything but normal.

"Can we just talk? Forget it all for just a few hours?" Natasha practically pleaded and yearned for, which caught him off guard. It just showed how vulnerability even to the strongest could see a change.

So there they both lay, heads looking at the plain ceiling as their conversation turned over to humour as they felt it was the only thing which could temporarily make them forget what had happened in the last 24 hours.

But when they rose the next morning it was to their realization that their job wasn't over.

They drove in their black SHIELD car to central park, for some weird reason at Stark's choosing of location to gladly farewell the demi-god bastard and Thor.

Meeting them there were the unexpected "team" who had all been clustered together under catastrophic circumstances. It made them all do a double take that they all survived. Even Tony who took that nuclear bomb and literally chucked it into the portal. Natasha had a slight change in heart for the cocky billionaire as she had no clue how he managed it. He was a dick, but a complete genius nonetheless.

Natasha and Clint never used to be team players until they were chucked together. They were both unsure of what this whole team meant. They even called themselves _The Avengers_, which Clint liked quite a lot making him feel macho, but the Widow scoffed at the petty name.

"It sounds like one of those old fashioned dream teams that fight crime and have their own catchy theme song" she _chuckled_, standing next to Clint, seeing the silent Loki starting to pay the price for messing with people who got pissed off rapidly.

"That's what we are.. aren't we?" Clint asked in return, making the smile on her face falter slightly at the grimacing thought.

They idly chatted as Steve handed the tesseract to Thor as it was being sent back to where it belonged. Out of mankind's hands.

They both stood with folded arms, which made Stark raise an eyebrow. _Assassins._

She leant towards him so her voice could only be heard by her partner.

"Don't inform Stark on the theme song idea" she lowly spoke, making a genuine and amused smile appear on Barton's face bringing much satisfaction to Natasha but not to the disgruntled Tony who could not figure out these two at all.

Once they parted with everybody, seeming too tired to really think too much about it they hopped into the black car and drove back to HQ where they weren't expected, but felt the need to go. The only sound that could be heard in the silent car was the sound of constant blaring from news reporters as Natasha flicked through the local stations.

_"Who exactly are the six heroes who came to our rescue? On what terms did they have the right to take control and who do they work for? Surely it had to be a secret agency with a string of operations under their belt. This could be just the tip of the iceberg into what American agencies aren't telling American citizens. How can we depen- Later on we'll be talking to our reporter Jill down on field as she attends the CIA speech conference. Jill what exactly are the terms on whom the six heroes of New York are? 'Well Cindy the executive director lead a statement claiming they have no knowing into exactly whom this super team work for and what I've lead to unders'- I don't see why people are so opposed to the idea that the world may just need heroes. Iron Man saved my child's life along with mine. Why is it we must all oppose against something which has saved us all from turmoil and destruction even further. If it weren't for this super team New York would be in complete ruin from a possible threat of a nuclear w-_" and the radio went silent as Natasha furiously flicked it off. She was breathing through her nose heavily and her face was furrowed in annoyance and pure exhaustion. Clint was facing the road as he drove until he heard Natasha's disturbance. Her head was facing away from his as she dared herself to look out the window at all the mess everybody was cleaning up. Glass from window shops were being swept, massive craters on the road were blocked by cones, drilling into buildings, watering down streets, mending streetlights even disassembling a crane which narrowly missed a massive block of buildings and lay on the cordoned off road.

He could almost pick out the words she would be saying to herself in her mind.

"It wasn't your fault" he lowly spoke, trying to give some hint of reassurance but came out with none making him mentally slap himself. "The mess"

"I could've shut that portal earlier" she replied with a small shake of her head. "I should've known how earlier".

He had to be careful on how he would reply as he felt her sanity running along a thin wire after all this catastrophe.

"Tash, you know I'm no bullshitter so let me just cut to the chase and say you can't change time. It may take a while but just please let this one slid-"

"Jesus Clint. Look at all of this is destruction which could've been handled earlier on. People wouldn't have _died_ if I didn't think of it sooner" she spat, leaving a tense thickness in the air which stopped Barton from talking back.

"And don't try blame yourself for this. For the love of god it was magic that you couldn't control so do not for a second think anybody blames yo-"

"Well why aren't _you_ taking that into account! Magic we don't understand and we somehow managed to find a loophole just in time. You straddled onto a _dead alien _to make sure you got up there! Who else does that?!" he shot back making Natasha turn to face him with an angry gaze.

"Because I wasn't the one who was so deluded under magic that I almost killed my partner!" Natasha fumed, immediately biting her tongue. Clint's eyes diverted away from her suddenly apologetic face. Natasha banged her head on the back of the seat in frustration as she spilled out the one thing she'd keep to herself. It all came out the wrong way.

"Clint" she started with a softer tone but his jaw clenched showing he wasn't quite done.

"You're right you know. Almost killed everybody, almost killed you. If I had done that then this place would be blank after the destruction of a _nuclear bomb_. But I must contradict your claim in saying that if it weren't for your gut feeling then the portal wouldn't have shut, millions would be dead and so would we" he slowly spoke making sure every word got into her swirling brain.

"But I didn't mean it like that" she whispered helplessly.

Barton sighed with a slight hitch, too exhausted to even bicker with Natasha Romanoff.

"I know you didn't" he replied, slowly placing his hand onto her vacant hand hanging slightly off her lap. He expected her to tense at the sudden movement but instead as his eyes faced the road he felt her smaller fingers wrap around his larger, calloused hand making something in the middle of his chest give a small ping. Like when he would release an arrow, the lightness and the force all wrapped into his chest.

He was honestly quite scared seeing this vulnerable side of Natasha which he had briefly known before he had shown her the ropes. He loved the bad-ass, witty, threatening, cold-hearted partner which he somehow managed to work alongside for all those years and had made it through without getting killed by anybody. He was more surprised that Natasha had never even dared to do that.

She did threaten a lot of colourful ways she could kill him many times before but the fire had sort of been blown out in her expression which made Clint's spark disappear too. It was like they were each other's power source, although them never seeing it as it seemed so subtle as they were still independent. But it was the friendship that kept them alive all those years.

It was the dedication in making sure to see another day with the other.

It was their utmost importance to stay partners and friends through all the shit they would face.

They would someday have to face the fact that one couldn't live without the other.

Any other day the traffic would've made Barton want to punch a wall but secretly he was liking the quietness they could block out from their bullet-proof car. They tried not to focus their unoccupied gazes on the destruction but more a spot on the windshield or when they thought the other wasn't looking giving a side-glance just to check they wouldn't be having a mental breakdown.

He was quite cold but the only heat came from Natasha's burning hand in his. She hadn't let go and neither had he, making questions run through their minds, but keeping their exterior still and quiet.

As Barton pulled into the car park his hand reluctantly released as he used both hands to swivel the wheel into the narrow spot which they had rightfully earned after years of having bad guys on their ass.

Their was the swift sound of unbuckling, opening and then a synchronized shutting of the car doors followed by the tonal beep of the locked car. The underground car park was empty and the only sound which echoed was the click of Natasha's boots hitting the concrete. Barton had learnt the pattern in which she would walk so he could practically decipher when it was her, or somebody foreign. His observant and slightly scary skills had still remained when under Loki's magic. That was why he pulled out his bow, not his gun. He knew her weakness was foreign weapons.

He could've killed her with the release of his bow a second earlier. He could've dug that knife into her skin. She wouldn't be here right in front of him.

He froze for a nano-second long enough for Natasha to turn behind her to her partner who looked like he was about to break down.

"Barton?" she questioned, finding his shift in mood slightly frightening. She stepped closer to him seeing his hardened form crack as they stood alone in the parking lot.

"Do you want to be here?" Natasha asked, letting her broken voice soften.

He shrugged helplessly but deeply took a breath out and adding an uncertain "Yes".

He found her uncertainty towards him annoying. It made him feel like their trust was broken, that she hadn't forgiven him for everything he had managed to screw up.

"Tash, just drop it" he muttered walking past her. He caught an angry glare in her eyes which never threatened him anymore.

Her eyebrows knotted in confusion as this was a new form as to how Clint was handling things. He knew better then to push her aside. What had changed?

"I will once my partner tells me what the hell he's thinking!" she fumed, walking rapidly to catch up to his bigger strides.

"I thought you could analyze for yourself what I'm always thinking" Barton spoke making the assassin scoff. But to his avail he had no reply from her. As they walked into the packed HQ, her movements were silent still but he felt her presence. They swiped their ID cards with a blatant beep but the receptionist would know those two faces from anywhere. When they walked down the office corridor they passed _the door_.

Engraved on a golden plate it read _Agent Phillip Coulson_.

"Somebody will have to take down the name" Natasha observed feeling Clint's mood shift once again. His clenched his jaw roughly as she could see and he walked past not taking it as well as she.

"I said drop it" he growled lowly, shoving his shoulder against her as he passed angrily, down towards Fury's office. Natasha let the blow hit her unlike before, letting her feet stumble back as her back hit the wall. She was fatigued and frankly didn't want to have to deal with Barton's bloody shifted moods. She hated this over-sensitive Barton who took everything like a bullet to the heart. She'd never even seen it in him before like this.

Any other day she would've swiftly pulled out her gun and let it press roughly against his head, flicking off the safety with her thumb. But she simply bit her lip and composed herself, letting her limp hands hang low.

She caught up to him the second he knocked onto Nick Fury's door, immediately starting to notice a gaping hole on Barton's wrist as his jacket slid down.

"You didn't go to medical?" she asked, making him face her.

"You didn't either" he observed, now clearing out the cuts, bruises and places that needed stitching all over Natasha's pale skin.

"I have my suppressers. _You_ have normal bodily function that needs fixing" Romanoff glared, keeping her gaze eye level to his. "Besides, i've attended to what needs to be stitched already".

"By yourself?" Clint felt himself say. He was always the one to patch her up after missions, no matter the scale. She had a legitimate fear of hospitals. She hated the prodding, scraping, drugs, everything. It was too raw for her memory. That is why Barton would always attend to her injuries.

He could only imagine her shaking hands trying to fix everything, wincing and biting into a towel.

_So this was what it had come to. The trust was diminished._

"You could've asked for my help too" she whispered, letting her eyes droop for a moment before the door opened. Nick Fury faced them with a confused as hell expression.

"What are you two doing here?" he asked, but letting them in and shutting the door swiftly.

The two agents looked like _shit_. Somebody needed to drag their ass into the SHIELD medical ward immediately.

"We came to help?" Clint questionably replied, side-glancing at his silent partner.

"Look, I don't mean this in any harm but I wish you two could bugger off when I ask" Fury sighed, leaning back in his large leather chair.

"Subtle" Barton nodded, taking a note of sarcasm. Natasha simply rolled her eyes, at what, was what left both men confused.

"And you didn't ask us to leave. You just thought we would" Romanoff said, after a moments silence.

"Any person who had a right thought would leave" Fury spoke, seeing both agents shift uncomfortably._ Fury knew they could never leave to the outside world. Their lives were their jobs._

"Anyway your _assistance_ is not needed. Unless you'd like to personally persuade the Council that my decision was the right thing to do, under our circumstances" he sighed almost in some defeat. This whole mission had taken a toll on the lot of them.

"Believe me Director, I'm on your side but they are the ones having all the population on their ass. You make the calls, they receive the consequences. Your decision was the best but they happen to still be grilling you for it" Clint observed, making Natasha slightly nod next to him. It was like he could read her mind. They both had a common interest in disliking The Council.

Reasons such as the council almost making the call to kill Natasha when she wasn't watching, sleeping in a SHIELD holding cell. It took Nick Fury all day and night to change their minds. Clint Barton and Nick Fury were the only two for the first few years who could see her potential in shifting sides. Coulson was hesitant but learnt to trust the killer red-head. Now she was only back to two people trusting her with their lives.

But she could only ever trust Barton with hers.

Not that he needed to know that at all.

Fury strummed his fingers on the wooden desk as the seconds rolled by.

"Well at least Steve listened to your call" Clint cheekily spoke after acceptance of Fury's silence.

"That's because Rogers has followed orders through habit on the battlefield. The old man could be of some influence to you both" Fury shot back making Clint silent. A small smirk appeared on Romanoff's face only noticed by Fury.

"Sorry Sir, but that's apparently not the way bird boy rolls" Natasha shrugged making Clint face her with an insulted look.

"Okay I'm demanding your suspension immediately. Three weeks. Blend in and be normal" the Director spoke, signaling for the door. _Highly unlikely they could blend in._

"But Si-"

"Leave Barton" he pressed. "Take a holiday".

Natasha silently rose and left with a nod and as soon as she did she could feel her partner close behind with a scowl.

"Holiday" Clint scoffed. "Not with our shit pay".

"Actually Clint you just think we have a shit pay. You just chose to stay in that dump of an apartment because you are nostalgic. With the pay we have been offered we could live in the high points of Manhattan" Natasha murmured as they passed security and staunched back to their vehicle.

"We both know that's not what we want" he firmly replied, pressing the unlock button with a tonal beep. "Besides unlike now we will be stuck with nothing to do but live in one spot 24/7". Natasha simply rolled her eyes and slid into the passenger seat not even bothering to point out that it was her day to drive.

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**oh hey see below you.. theres a review button! you're on your phone or computer and you have a keyboard which creates words! lets test that out on the box why don't we? if so I promise to have it updated in the next four days! **

**H/B **


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay I would like to start off with an apology... I am so sorry I didn't update when I said I would! I've had exams and I thought I could squeeze in a chapter before I started studying but Mum wouldn't give me my laptop. But never fear I have arrived fashionably late!**

**Really hope this chapters worth the effort it took around my strangely busy life at the moment. 5+ reviews and I PROMISE to update within the week :)**

**Also like the thank you for the rad reviews I have gotten so far so keep 'em up! Oh and believe me after this chapter shit goes down... You have been warned so you maybe want to get an update pronto... ya know.. I already have written the next chapter ;)**

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On a good day Natasha Romanoff didn't have the burning desire to destroy Clint Barton's dignity whenever he would royally piss her off. Their whole lives were dealing with maturity and when he chose Barton could be that way. But then there were the rare occasions when they were off a mission where he would pull at Natasha's strings.

"Nat have I ever taken you to the sushi train?" he asked out of the blue the first morning they had off in their small apartment. She noticed out of the corner of her tired eye him seeming to read through some magazine but she could tell he wasn't concentrating on what paper had to say.

"Why do you ask?" she mumbled, lowering the tablet she was holding, scanning through SHIELD cases she had completed before all the weirdness and complications of humans not being the only ones started. She didn't have to think hard about her answer because she had honestly never heard of what Barton was implying.

"I actually don't know" he stiffly replied. She could tell his impatience was waring through when he wasn't holding his weapon of choice, scanning rooftops, looking over high points, actually having an objective and instruction.

"You haven't taken me to the sushi train" Romanoff evenly replied, putting on her _i'm occupied so piss off, Clint_.

The silence didn't last long as Clint went for one desperate attempt to talk.

"When Fury said take a vacation, did he literally imply taking a flight somewhere?" Barton asked abruptly, making the tense mood dissolve. A small smile appeared on Natasha's face.

"And what? Be _touristy_?" she shuddered making him grimace too.

"Wearing those bright hawaiian print shirts and the massive camera sling, asking foreign strangers to take photos of them in front of a monument" he swiftly finished, not letting a grin appear one bit, making her consider if he was being serious. He could tell by her expression that she was contemplating whether to slap him or not.

"Sounds like us" Natasha sarcastically spoke making Clint laugh. Truly laugh.

"But have you ever been on holiday?" was his intrigue question.

"Do I need to answer that one?" the sharp woman scoff making Clint shrug. Inside he found it sad that she had effectively never had a childhood. Although neither had he. But Clint felt that Natasha deserved one. One where she had friends and where she remembered who her family were.

Clint wishes he could forget the family he remembered. The one brother he looked up to and he betrayed him into believing that you could never trust anybody and Natasha had flipped his opinion on that matter. As he had done for her too.

"I don't know if acting normal could be on my agenda" she lightly chuckled.

"I think I get that" Clint replied sharing an almost sympathetic smile.

Natasha folded her arms and said "Please elaborate"

He paused to think for a moment thinking of where to start until it hit him. "I hop onto a public plane and I can sense things. Everybody has secrets. The flight attendant is slightly grouchy that day on the flight. Did she get a lack of sleep? Are her priorities for the job if danger appears? The captain could've easily slipped a drink before his flight. A malfunction in bagging not making clearance for the safety of the passengers meaning a dangerous person could do something paranoid. Would somebody be trained to help everybody else? What about that silent man sitting in the corner reading a book, coldly looking away from everybody seeming too quiet. Does he have something to hide? Is he afraid of something like an imminent threat?" he easily spoke, thinking of that one time Coulson had dragged him onto a public plane long before Natasha had appeared in his life. Still suffering the mistrust he felt uneasy to this day about what people had to hide. "This is with me everywhere I go, Nat. It's sort of bred into the job. We _have_ to perceive this mind set otherwise we are useless".

Natasha strangely found there was no struggle in his words as if his acceptance was a normal thing. But he was so immensely accurate that it almost scared her. The mistrust to strangers was not paranoid to them but to any other would've been off the charts.

"I'm glad to know I'm not alone" she quietly accepted, making Clint look up from his magazine he still wasn't technically reading.

"You'll never be alone" he quietly replied making something inside of Natasha's chest jolt. _Godammit she could die for this man and still want to stab him at the same time. _

"I always wondered why you get so giddy on public transport. Now I know" she mused, snatching the magazine out of his hand as he complained with a "hey I was reading that"

Her eyes skimmed over the Cosmopolitan Magazine. Where did that even come from?

"Yes, you were reading about the 'do's and don't of dating'. I see" she chuckled, reading over the pettish article that so many normal women would've worshipped.

"Didn't know you had a taste for women's magazines, Clint. Especially ones with sexual intercourse advice..." she teased, walking over to the bench top and strumming her fingers on the marble top.

"I picked it up on the street" he quickly excused. "Wanted to see what you women praised over".

Natasha flipped her head around as the red curls bounced wildly off her head and raised an eyebrow completely judging his stance. She seriously could not tell if he was lying or not because an amused and shit-eating grin covered his face.

"Plus it is quite amusing" Barton added with a wink, making Natasha almost flip her shit.

"I'm not going to defend my womanhood here because I am finding it amusing too" she sighed, turning back to the article. _Oh how the normal people lived. _

"Nothing of it seems helpful?" he asked, showing his sheer amusement.

"I don't see how 'ditch him if all he talks about is his mother' is helpful. And _who cares_ who pays for the meal? Plus I do not see how idly chatting across a dinner table can make you analyze a person. The best way to analyze a person is having them in a SHIELD holding cell and getting the best interrogators on the job and see if they are as flimsy as a new born puppy. Maybe throw in a few imminent threats here and there and bingo you could pull out all their flaws in a matter of hours _and_ get their bank account details" Natasha darkly laughed, making Clint raise an eyebrow. With that whole speech wrapped up she turned around to face him with an amused grin but he knew she was being serious.

"I now see why you don't date"

In reply Natasha simply gave a satisfied grin at his bewildered expression.

A knock came at the door not long after the pair walked down the quiet street to grab some chinese. Clint rolled his eyes and bounced off the couch to open to the door to the last person they were expecting.

"Tony?" Barton asked, trying not to sound like he really didn't want him there right at that moment. Peace and quiet was something Barton could only have for five minutes.

"Nice to see you too, Katniss" the billionaire bellowed.

Clint raised his eyebrow at the stupid nickname he knew Tony would never drop and asked in reply "What are you doing here?"

"I was just in the neighborhood. Y'know thought to swing by but I can't say I brought any home baked goods"

"Clint who's there?" her small voice asked from down the hall. Tony's amusement grew further.

"Who's _Clint_?" Tony chuckled, wagging his eyebrows in amusement. Luckily Clint had some self control. In the blink of an eye Stark strolled through the door ahead of Barton who muttered "Come on in then"

Barton barely even knew the guy and that's what he found so difficult talking to him. How do you respond and tell a cocky and genius billionaire to buzz off?

"And whom may we have as lady compan- Oh it's you!" Stark clasped his hands together not seeming so surprised, making Clint's blood boil to some extent. His tired brain was going hay-wire as he followed behind Tony to find Natasha giving a complete death glare. If she had some knives on her then they would've been imbedded in his chest by now.

_Too bad._

Tony looked between the extremely pissed off and deadly assassins trying to pick out why they were in a titchy mood. He could feel the pair of them mentally murdering him, for reasons he was yet to devour through.

"Tony what are you doing here?" Natasha spoke up, taking a slow spoonful of rice and shoving it in her mouth but didn't drop her murderous glare.

"Well I- erm funny- I was jus-... Okay I was bored. Your angry pirate of a Director of your crazy agency had me held in a holding room trying to negotiate_ funds_. Guy should know I don't have money spilling out my ears. Believe me when you're stuck in a room with him when he is clearly pissed off for five hours... Doesn't go well when he won't even let me get something to eat!" Tony scoffed, the complaints furthering the glares.

Clint and Natasha shared a wary looked. Clint's expression read as _like to see if he could last a day in our jobs._

Her response in expression basically screamed to Clint as _well he proved it by lasting five torturous hours. _

Clint laughed softly at her clear sarcasm making Tony look up from his rambling he knew the two assassins were clearly not interested in.

"What's with the eye sex?" Stark asked, trying to hide his amusement in seeing these two suddenly give him an embarrassed and annoyed look. But before he could blink he felt a cold piece of metal whip past his head and hit the wall with a smooth thud. He froze as he didn't even need to look to know that Natasha had thrown a fork missing his head by centimeters and he knew on purpose. Her breathing was slightly off on normal pitch which also brought the whole insanity of this woman to a new level.

Surprisingly too Tony looked over to see Barton's eyes widen too. Would've thought he would be used to her antics by now.

"Can't take a joke can you?!" Stark bellowed with a slight stutter.

Natasha composed herself so quickly that both of the men would've missed it had they blinked. "I can take a joke. That just wasn't funny therefore isn't classed as a joke" she replied smoothly. _Too smoothly_. Made Tony shudder.

"How did you know we lived here?" Clint abruptly asked, making Tony shake off the irrational fear he had of that woman who was calmly eating away at her meal.

"I knew _you_ lived here" he replied pointing to Barton as he stood with his arms folded. "SHEILD databases are like second grade maths. Boring and easy to work out". Stark gave Natasha a little side-look basically screaming _to my surprise you live here too._

"So it's compulsory for all partners in field to live together?" Stark smirked, trying not to give away that he'd checked all mandatory rules of SHIELD agents in his spare time.

"No" "Yes" they answered simultaneously keeping their faces straight before giving each other an annoyed look.

_Hehe _Tony smiled to himself.

"Look Stark if you're just here to poke some fun then you came to the wrong people"

"Hold that thought Ruskie" Tony quickly replied, the nickname he gave her making her eye twitch. "I was intrigued in knowing why you _do_ live together?"

Clint glanced over to his partner who could literally kill the man right at that moment. Taking out dramatics.. she was simply exhausted and didn't see how the billionaire packed the energy.

"Works better that way. Partnership runs a bit smoother" Clint answered, trying to make up for Natasha's titchy mood. Even though he shared the same initial thoughts.

To his delight Tony just nodded without questioning any further. Clint didn't doubt Stark had assumptions about their relationship. Heck even he, himself didn't know what their relationship was defined as. Not a brotherhood as he'd already had one brother and that sure didn't define a caring sibling. Not one where one watches over the other as they are each other's equal. It wasn't classed as romance because none of that could ever be real. They were never going to have normal and less hectic lives to be able to live for that kind of romantic love where going on dates and watching movies all the time, binging on crappy foods was all in a day.

He'd pushed that all aside years ago for Natasha's sake. He could tell she was just simply afraid of the idea of normality. She had no clue what it was.

But really, their partnership was like a well-oiled machine. Stepping back when needed, stepping in when necessary, comforting when expected and watching each other's back, not over-stepping their moves.

But to Clint Barton however it seemed something was missing. He did feel a certain love for this feisty and bitchy woman sitting in front of him with a cocked eyebrow and an annoyed glare. He loved how she wasn't a normal woman.

But was it romantic?

The thought made him scoff. Yeah, Natasha being all cute and giggly. _Hardly._

But did it always involve that?

Romantic love could mean the dedication such as their partnership. Not offending, showing concern and making sure the other knows that they are worth saving. Everyday of his life he made sure she knew even if it wasn't spoken that he never regretted not killing her.

In some odd ways he found his match. However odd the circumstances would it be so different to see her show love? He knew she cared but really what would be so different if he had the right to just waltz up to her and give her a kiss every now and then.

Why had he never even attempted it on her? The one woman in his life he actually cared about and why was it he never did take the leap?

Initially it was fear she would run but now he knew for certain she was in too deep to ever run away.

"Bird Boy daydreaming?" Stark asked, in quite an amused tone. Natasha's eyebrows knotted as she could not point her finger on what her partner was even _thinking_ about.

_Probably that lady who works as a bartender from the floor below._

Why is it so hard for Natasha to accept that she just _can't_ have that simple sort of life? She never knew any different so why did it give her a pang of disappointment when she saw her partner trying to bring in a normal comparison?

She could not never envy somebody who lives a small life with a small and protected world. Romanoff could never have anything of the kind. Even if she tried she would just end up hurt.

She usually did end up hurt in the end.

"No" he rapidly replied, almost trying to figure out Stark's deal. He seemed like a good enough guy. So why did he have this sort of fascination about knowing everything about everyone?

They were finally left in peace after about an hour of idle chit chat which Clint secretly enjoyed and Natasha not so discreetly hated. He could tell all she now wanted to do was sleep so she stalked out of the room, Barton noticing her still grasping onto the tablet, searching through files when she froze in her place by the door. He watched as her eyes hardened at the screen. One name as she skimmed down made her breathing stop for a nano-second.

_Under SHIELD wanted files. Untracked for five years. Last known location: Budapest, Hungary, November 24th 2007. _

He was there, watching her on _that_ mission. He knew she was alive and she had a feeling he was still alive somewhere off the radar for an alarming reason. It was in her sense and now every fear awakening. She could only imagine where he was. If he was going to find her was the question that kept her waiting for nine years.

She could tell her partner with razor sharp vision had already noticed her falter.

"Nat" he asked, suddenly wiping off his smug mood and replaced it with something more similar to a Hawkeye persona. _God he needed to stop changing so suddenly on her._

Her hesitation is what made Barton become uneasy. She never did struggle with saying things.

"It's Petrovitch" she coldly spoke. The mere mention of his name made Clint Barton's skin suddenly crawl. As she didn't continue and just stood completely in shock Clint became desperate.

"Nat" he pressed, now sitting up and not sure whether to walk up to her.

She lowered the tablet and simply looked back at her worried partner who looked like he wanted to murder somebody and replied "He was _there. _In Budapest".

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**Did I warn you or did I warn you? For those of you who forgot Ivan Petrovitch is the reason Natasha Romanoff is basically ruined and is the reason she has trust issues, killers mind etc... You are about to see some real messy shit go down. Oh and also you will find out what happened in Budapest soon enough so don't fret my children... **

**meheheheh evil laugh**

**H/B xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay that was just over a week? *hides behind strong person* meep**

**Thank you so much for the lovely reviews too!**

**So here's an extra long chapter for you all**

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"Who filed the report?" Clint immediately asked, almost half expecting to know the answer. His heart was beating far too fast for a healthy rate which made him check if he was still breathing.

"Who do you _think_?" she replied, trying not to feel the urge of driving back to SHIELD head quarters and punching her Director in the face. No, that wouldn't give her enough satisfaction.

"But Petrovich did nothing" Barton tried to comfort but the statement left Natasha with little ease.

"That's what scare-... bothers me" she immediately covered, feeling her exterior crack.

"It might've just been a coincidence"

"He knew I was there Clint. Somebody had poisoned you and nobody was _supposed_ to know we were there. We never knew who it was. _You could've died_" Natasha voice echoed, strumming her hands over her mouth.

"It was a messy mission, Nat" Clint sighed.

"It doesn't mean I was distracted. He knew I was in Budapest at the time. He was at that gala we attended before everything turned to bat shit"

"How do you know for sure?" he asked, the question making Natasha explode.

"Because it's on the database _damn it_! Last place he was seen!" she fumed, not finding him flinch at all at her volume. Seems he was used to her sometimes exploding. Although he was the only one who ever got the real Natasha. Everybody else got the cold, receptive and professional woman. The side Barton saw was more of a privilege than he first realized.

"But that was almost five years ago, Nat"

"He's not dead" her voice shook, making Clint alarmed as to how she knew. "If he was dead then I would've soon followed".

"How could you presume such a thing?" Barton demanded.

"Because I _know_ he would make sure I was killed. It would be his dying wish. I was one of his strongest on The Black Widow operation he'd ever seen and I ran away. He doesn't let things go Clint. I wasn't just some girl to him. _I was his prize and possession _" her voice shuddered hanging a thick, tense mood over the crammed apartment. Clint didn't falter his appearance as none of this came as a massive shock but he gulped. This wasn't something they had faced. A part inside of his just hoped that after Clint had taken Natasha in those nine years ago in Amsterdam all her past would leave.

"Everybody knows who we are now" Barton spoke, unexpected from Natasha's view.

He was right. He was so right that now she had this piled on top of it all.

"How will we do our jobs? After all that's happened they would know everything about us. We aren't anonymous to the world... how can we run, Clint?" Natasha desperately asked, cracking her composure. Clint walked up to her and reached down at her shaking palm and wrapped it tightly around his two larger and rougher hands.

"You aren't going to cower behind anybody because I know that's not the way you are but you aren't alone on this one" he reminded, trying to divert the questions racing through her mind.

Natasha knew he was referring to himself.

"I can't let you fight my battles for me" Romanoff pressed, gritting her teeth at the thought of Barton being taken away from her again. Loki's control was still fresh in her mind. She had only just got him back. And it made her feel selfish that she would just want her damn partners company. But she didn't regret her thoughts one bit.

Barton held his tongue from asking _why, Nat? Nine years and it's still hard for you to accept that you can't be the only one to protect your life. You have other people who still want you here. If you were gone then I would soon follow._

Instead he lowered his head in slight defeat, knowing that if he mentioned one bit of what he thought she would push him away and keep secrets.

The less he knew, the more chance he would live. That was Romanoff's theory.

Barton's theory was polar being that if she would just understand his concern then if the time came, she would have a backbone. Because she can't fight forever.

Soon after she softly shook her hands out of his and walked away in silence.

He could only think of the turmoil in her head and since she didn't obligate to talk about it Clint Barton would have to accept that sometimes she just needed her isolation of her old life. As great as it was that she had transitioned through their partnership there were still gaping holes that on the observer would never be noticed. But especially to Clint he felt it in some ways heartbreaking to see her so bent-over in nightmares to let it rule her life. The horror of thinking her past is catching up and now the Red Room operatives would know precisely where she is. It would've been almost impossible for every human being to miss hearing about the New York catastrophe only a few days earlier.

Although Natasha silently shut her door she stumbled back, leaning against it roughly and crouching down onto the floor. Her breathing became rapid and she tucked in clenching her chest tightly. She didn't feel this all as a panic attack. Her attacks were much worse than this but it felt mildly close.

She had nothing to fear about Ivan Petrovitch finding _her_.

It was her god damn assassin of a partner who she was scared for. And Barton _killed_ for a job and protection which brought the whole terror of Ivan to a new level. Petrovitch was a complete and utter _monster._

But the minute her life was carried into another's hands she knew it could only end badly.

Clint Barton was in too deep. She felt the regrets she harbored nine years prior. But this time it was different. She couldn't care less if she died in Petrovitch's hands but now she had something to fight for. She could sense that if she left Barton wouldn't know what to do. He was a strong man and she was a strong woman but there was something that was harmonized.

The man who had changed her life and given her a second chance was being thrown into a game which was far too dangerous and unfair.

Years before she would've left him and isolated herself. She almost wanted to hide but now she could not. She refused the word compromised. She refused the word love. So what was it?

What on earth was the reason she couldn't leave?

Only one solution was left in her racing mind. And that solution told her enough that she could never leave Clint Barton even if she tried so unwillingly just to protect him.

She knew if she left, Clint would simply die. Vanish from existence. She would too if the role was switched.

"_Oh god_" she whispered, trying to stop a cry from sounding out. What was there left to do?

What could she possibly do?

If she stayed they would find her and kill Clint.

If she was taken Clint would find her and they'd both end up dead.

But if she left to find Petrovitch she would die and he would live. But that option was only a hope. She felt that Ivan would make sure Clint Barton was dead and he'd make sure Natasha watched him suffer.

She eventually crawled into her bed, tangled in her sheets so she could loose the sense that her alive and breathing partner was in the next room. She wanted to forget that because of her, he was in more danger than anybody could know.

But her sheets smelt of _him_.

Previous night's she'd simply _held_ him just to shake in the feeling in each other's minds that they were alive.

She dreaded falling asleep but she knew it must come. After only hours of sleep rationed out over the few days she knew her eyes would droop.

_Her mind swirled her worries into what was her nightmare she had dreaded to come. _

_She was standing with her back to the many agents controlling the Helicarrier. Her eyes peered out across the blue sky and ocean below. She felt his presence but it came as a warning in her mind. _

_She swiveled around with an arrow aimed directly at her eye as it was mere centimeters. _

_"Clint?" she questioned, trying to look into his eyes seeing the horrifying blue. Loki was in his mind. _

_"I should've done this a long time ago" he growled, not sounding at all like the warm voice she was so accustomed to._

_"Barton. Snap out of it" Natasha warned, trying to lower his weapon but he suddenly shifted with a flicker of gold, replicating to Loki's powers. She felt the tip of the arrow pushed at her head as she slowly turned behind her to see Clint still standing there. Looking at her as if she were simply another target. No receptive glow or squint. Just cold, hard and calculative. _

_"But you deserve all of it" Loki's menacing voice rang through Clint's mouth. Oh god no._

_"Leave him alone!" she vulnerably shouted in his face as she backed off. There was a weight holding down her hands, almost as if she was trapped. This was one fear she had. Not having mobility or advantage. _

_"What are you going to do? Try be the hero?" he scowled, taking a step towards her each time she took one back. "Try save the one man who you could never possibly save in the end? Underneath all your cold hard façade you're really just a weak, broken and evil human. Never forget where you came from because I certainly didn't"_

_"What are you talking about?" she felt herself ask, her voice slightly shaking._

_"You have this silly wee idea in your head that everything bad left you behind as soon as you ran into my arms. That you could have somebody to latch onto. Somebody who could love you. And you say love is for children. All of this is simply love to you! We both wouldn't be here if it weren't for your selfish mind dragging me once out of Loki's control. Try see if you can stop me again" he darkly spat, making Natasha pull out her gun but not before the arrow pulled back was released and plunged through her head bringing an immense pain in her mind._

_All of this was an illusion. Darkness but one thing. She could hear Clint's voice echo. Loki's menacing trail was gone._

"Tash" his voice lowly spoke, almost too close for her liking as she snapped awake. Along with sitting abruptly up she carried the knife which was gripped firmly in her hand and inches from digging into Barton's throat. He froze along with her, eyes widened as he gulped inwards.

Immediately her face fell in horror as she realized how close she was to killing her partner out of fear of not being able to tell real from fake. Immediately Clint took the knife out of his bewildered partner's hands and she didn't fight back or take any reception. Her green eyes simply in shock and terror.

And then she did something he never expected to happen willingly. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and crushed her body against his in some form of a desperate hug. He felt a shaking hand reach for the pulse in his neck and he knew immediately that he was involved in her nightmare.

They were only ever bad dreams now if he was involved. He noticed this as a common trait ever since Budapest five years prior.

She'd almost lost him in Budapest and it happened all over again in New York.

Truth is they both called into the SHIELD Headquarters in their own spare time without the other knowing the very next day.

Clint was the first to walk into HQ with one place on his mind. But the one man he needed wasn't there. He would probably never be able to go to him again.

Instead he sidetracked down to the one place where he felt most comfortable in SHIELD. On a high point of the building, cooped up in a weapons lab, testing new technology of arrows for his long time- wouldn't say friend -but more person who could take a venting session.

As Clint idly shot away aiming immaculately at a target 20 meters away (too easy), noticing when it spun in the air a shutter went off before it propelled gas along the floor.

"Blinding gas" Dr. Ken Harford casually replied, not even thinking of explaining what exactly he had created. Clint just took the shot and smiled to himself.

_Oh yes he was taking this one with him._

"Only temporary, but long enough to escape and hitch hike away from any target undetected for twenty miles. And that's only for junior agents. Knowing you and Romanoff with this you could end up in a different country by the time the bastards got back to their senses" the buzzing scientist mused, tapping away at his tablet, forming some complex equation even Clint Barton himself could not decipher.

"I'll take all of them" Clint replied, turning behind him with what looked to be some form of content. One of the first moments he did over the past week.

His bow was his beating heart where he felt his comfort and sense come back. Even in fight's so vivid and frightening at times with his bow involved he always felt at ease with it grasped in his steady hands.

Dr Harford gave a smug grin and rested down his laptop.

The man would've easily been over 50 years but his devotion to developing weapons within the agency for specific skill sets made him light up like a christmas tree.

"These ones haven't had the green light from Hill yet" Ken sighed, walking over to his espresso machine and making himself a well-earned coffee. "Want a cup?"

"No thanks" Clint swiftly replied, not wanting the energy kick. "So by the way that woman works it won't be for a few months before she's made sure to tick over_ every single box _of_ every single outcome _when it comes to field work" he groaned, walking towards the target where remaining arrows were embedded. All in the red target and one splitting another through with a normally accurate shot.

"It's like you can predict things" Dr Harford sarcastically replied. "So anyway, I kinda figured you'd be in sometime this week especially. You just can't keep away"

Barton looked over to Dr Harford leaning on the bench with his elbows propped, almost with a knowing expression.

"I needed the distraction" Barton's voice lowered in some hint of guilt. He could only imagine what some of the agents must think of him._ How many did he kill that day on the helicarrier?_

"Russian flame not enough for you?!" Ken bellowed, tipping the froth into his cup.

Interesting choice of words, thought Clint as he had to stop himself from letting anything slip.

"She's got her own things to deal with" Barton shrugged, carefully carrying the reusable arrows back to the bench stacked with many contraptions.

"Am I not to hear wedding bells anytime soon?" Dr Harford pondered, taking a sip from his mug. Clint for a second thought he felt his cheeks rise in colour. _What was this?! Man up, Barton._

"Believe me we wouldn't last a day if we were compromised" the archer scoffed in reply. _Just shake it off._

Ken puffed up his cheeks and blew out heavily "Jesus mate. You make it sound so morbid! It wouldn't be a bad thing y'know" he half teased, but Clint could tell he was trying to give some man to man advice. Quite honestly Clint couldn't believe he was taking this into account.

But then he recited something in his mind. _Love is for children._

For him it seemed a daunting task if he ever chose to accept, to shake that sentence out of her head. It had ruled her for too long now.

The stride in which Natasha Romanoff took, pacing down the complex maze of offices and security checks until she reached Nick Fury's office frightened a lot of the junior agents. But the rest knew she would only be here now if she had some concern.

She still felt it mandatory to knock on his door so she did so followed by his deep voice letting her enter.

"I thought I sent your asses out of here only a few days ago" Fury sighed, but letting her sit as he signaled at his desk. She could tell he had obviously been trying to fend the Council off his ass by the way his expression and composure stood. Those powerful men and woman could surely ware any man down.

"I believe it's of some concern" she lowly and firmly replied, taking a seat, not falling back and keeping her back straight as her mind was racing.

"We have therapists who deal with problems, Agent Romanoff" the director shortly replied, his patience balancing on a thin line.

"I would only come to you for this sir" Natasha pushed, making the man fall back and let her elaborate. "Sir, even as I was walking past today I seemed to notice that Agent Coulson's office is intact, but not only that. His pens on his desk were out of alinement from what they were three days prior..." her voice struggled almost dreading what was coming. "He's not dead, is he?" she practically growled.

Nick Fury's expression to her shock didn't falter for one second but in fact turned into some form of a grin. _What was this mans deal?!_

A furious and deadly russian assassin was staring him down like he could kill him with her calculative stare and he just smiles?!

The agency was full of nut-cases.

"Smart" he nodded, reaching out to his drawer in his desk and unwrapping a piece of candy in a wrapper then popping it in his mouth with some amusement.

"What the fuck is going on?" she spat, her patience not lasting.

"Coulson is in fact alive. Never really was dead" Fury shrugged, finding it all quite amusing. This man was just asking to be shot at. But Natasha was really dealing with one of the highest class agent and assassins amongst all known agencies. He was the cream of the crops.

"So you used his 'death' as a push to defeat Loki?" her shaking voice suddenly clicked.

"And I'm guessing he's probably off in the Bahamas at this rate. Enjoying being dead until further notice".

"He's actually in Tahiti but close enough" he carelessly shrugged. What happened to the old Nick Fury?!

"Do you have any idea how much Barton has had to deal with?! Thinking it was his fault his handler and best friend was dead because of him! Since when did you take the careless stride? _How could you do that to us?!"_ her voice started rising, feeling utter disgust on behalf of her exhausted and traumatized partner who was probably cooped up in his bed trying to forget it all when it never really did happen.

"You never would've done it had I not called it. It was also Coulson's decision" he spoke making her silent for a moment because he knew he was right and so did she.

"What am I supposed to tell Barton then?" her voice growled.

"Look, Romanoff. In his state Agent Barton really should be seeing a therapist. Warm him to the idea. Powers taking over his mind has really taken a toll as I have observed"

"Fury, he can only _stand so much. _This is breaking him over and being careless about it all will damage him and I don't want to stand by when this happens" Natasha spoke.

"I'm on your side, Romanoff. We all want him back and wel-"

"Sir... _Barton never left_" she spat, rising from her seat and stalking away before Fury could say anymore.

As soon as he knew she was well gone and cleared of the building he knew he wouldn't have to book a therapist to ease him into the factor that Coulson is alive.

By the lividness in Romanoff's voice he knew she would be the one. And for once in Nick Fury's mind he felt some of his strength fall on him. He knew he had failed and screwed up and now it was all catching up to him. That was the one thing he feared most.

* * *

**Ooooooooo I kinda had to bring him back I mean come on...**

**Agents of SHIELD TV Show! **

**Yeah Natasha still get's pissed off. Can I also remind you all that Barton is really smart?! He figured out that the portal was in fact a door before all the people doing their specific job could?! Hehe**

**I leave you with this ;) **

**H/B**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay i'm really sorry it's been a while i know... don't hate me :/ Just been tied up with work and stuff. Also i'm kinda finding it a hassle writing at the moment! suffering a bit of writers block but I shall overcome for you (the readers) benefit. What would help is a review of what you think and I appreciate the ones I have received very much! I read them all and take into account your opinions so please do so! I'm almost begging ;)**

**Chapter 9! Let's do this!**

* * *

Barton liked observing from above. May have been from a knack of climbing tree's when he was younger. Possibly to prank his brother Barney by throwing acorns and he would end up utterly annoyed as he could never spot Clint.

He may have preferred it because observing space made him think. Brought some clarity when everything in his mind seemed so dense and clustered. He was never sure where that all came from.

He also may prefer high spaces because he knew not many people could sustain the heights he did, meaning he was untouchable and unfound to almost everybody. Only the select few knew where to find him if he does not call up.

Sitting perched on the edge of the rooftop, his mind was clearing. That was all until his phone buzzed in his pocket. He almost felt a reluctance to answer but then he remembered there were literally only five people who live on this planet with Barton's secured SHIELD number which linked to his closely secured phone.

He swiftly picked up with a uniformed "Barton".

There was almost silence had he not picked up the faint breathing down the other end of the line. Clint's eyebrows knotted in confusion as he checked the caller ID. _Unknown._

"Who is this?"

A strangely familiar voice answered "I don't want you to panic, Clint". His head snapped up and almost fell backwards from shock.

"_Coulson?!_" Clint barked down the other end of the phone. He was stuttering just trying to think of what to say next to his supposedly dead handler and friend.

"What is this?" he almost growled, starting to turn it all on himself. His mind was playing tricks again.

"This is video. I'm getting a nice vision of your ear" Phil replied, Clint feeling some sort of nostalgia in his humor in a moment of either crisis or shock.

Barton pulled the phone away from his ear to stare at the alive and breathing handler holding his phone up for visual.

He could simply not believe it, if anything.

"I do not expect you to be happy at this but it was not anybody else's fault but mine"

"But you could've at least told me" Barton interjected but Coulson ignored him.

"You all needed the push Clint. I know you felt a vengeance. It never would've worked with me alive in the picture" he reasoned, tiredness evident in his eyes.

Barton felt the same weariness and being reminded made him remember he wasn't the only man who had just battled through an unknown. Not the only relatively and humanly normal person who had just witnessed their worst fears.

"Who knows?"

"Everybody above Level 7 but since you cooperated in the Avengers Initiative it was deemed classified for you to know according to a man with one eye" Coulson said, rolling his eyes in the slightest. The one thing that made Clint so fond of Coulson was his appearances of dry humor to crack through in an event with high amounts of stress.

"Where are you? Fiji?" Clint peered, noticing the impeccably sunny and sandy backdrop.

That whole day she felt no reason to search for Clint until that moment of utter rage. Nick Fury's job was to handle everything to the best of his potential in an agency which even at it's weakest could still stand strong. But the way it was all handled was simply child's play. You don't take things like that lightly.

She didn't even bother turning the front door knob of the apartment and headed straight for the ladder on the top floor heading to the rooftop. It was a good twenty stories high and perfectly how Barton liked it. He could peer down at ant-like figures all rushing around for their lunch breaks, dates, meetings and school day. But all Barton could see that day was roadworks, rubble and lot's of those ant-like figures joining along to clean it all up. It would really take a few weeks before things started to settle. Because it really was a disaster zone.

He could sense her presence long before she said anything and they both knew it. He knew where she had been instead of going for a walk. Since when did she just take a walk?

"Fury holding up well?" his low voice asked, over the noise of car engines, drills and beeping horns down below.

Her hesitation was what made him curious. She knew something which was unsettling. And he hadn't even had a look at her. Instead she paced closer until swinging her legs over so she sat on the ledge of the building next to her still partner. It wasn't a height risk as their was literally a deck two story's below.

But there was also something he knew and he had a funny feeling it was what she felt a struggle about.

"Why do you ask?" Natasha's soft voice asked, not looking at him but outwards ahead to the next block of buildings.

"Nat, you don't need to tell me... I know he's alive" he abruptly told her, making her chest clench.

Her could almost feel her body stiffen as some form of anger boiled in her eyes.

"Coulson rang me before you could get back to me... He's having a nice vacation" he sighed, not finding this all so difficult in comparison to his livid partner. "Although to my dismay he had little memory into him being dead for 40 seconds"

"How is he alive?" she asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"The septor stabbed him, Nat. He mentioned he had little doubt that it was the magic-... an unknown scientific explanation- in the chituari septor that kept him alive"

"It doesn't seem right" she shook her head, denial clear in her tone causing me to give her a sideways glance.

"What is it?" I questioned, my eyes narrowing.

"You're not pissed off that Fury practically played us? Kept it from us?" she whispered, twisting her fingers in her hands.

"Tash, it's fine. Would you rather Coulson was actually buried in the ground?" Barton scoffed with some sort of relief which softened her tense muscles for a second.

"You know that's the last thing I want. It was- it was just handled poorly" Natasha excused.

"But you wouldn't of felt the same vengeance to get the job done. You're thinking you needed no motivation, but this... this whole catastrophe we just survived... it's beyond our level, Nat." his low voice replied, making her realize just how quick Clint could pick up things. It was because of Loki she felt this menace and hatred to make sure Loki would lose. It was because of Phil's supposed death that she felt her blood boil. Had she not had that push then there was a chance both Clint and herself would not be here.

"I was worried" she sighed, grimacing in the slightest.

"_You_?" Clint chuckled, but his smile faded immediately when he got no bitchy reply, or a jab in the ribs, or even a roll of the eyes. He got little reception. Just a flicker of something that wasn't usually there in her eyes.

"Tash" he reasoned, reaching out to take her hand but she flinched away.

"I had this feeling of invincibility surrounding me up until a few weeks ago when I got a call from Coulson. Saying the one thing I thought I would never hear in my living days". She now knew that he really was devouring what she was saying. His eyes were cold-hard set on her that she felt his gaze searing into her skin.

He was smart. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Now he really wanted to hold her hand. But Natasha Romanoff rarely was a woman who would speak of emotions like this so instead he chose not to move, feeling if he even took a breath she would shift and shut down immediately. He needed to hear her voice.

"I was worried for you, Clint. I knew immediately you would blame yourself... for his death. I knew from the second I was notified of Coulson's passing. So, you know.. just being told that it was a sham... it feels like you have been cheated. It's like your a game piece and Fury just played you. Toyed with what you knew. It's just _sick_" she muttered, feeling every word come out as if she could punch a wall. She was livid with rage.

Clint paused, feeling a sudden change in motion. He could barely believe he was hearing her audibly speak that she cared. He always knew but it was never a spoken occurrence in their partnership. There was now an urgency, a plea. It was as if it was their last day on earth.

Well, what could they now anticipate, having just witnessed the way they know the world change in a matter of seconds?

"Why do you feel such an abundance to look out for me?" he questioned, for probably the first time in all their years of familiarity.

"Because you do for me and have since that day we met when you decided to spare my life"

_I owe you a debt._

Clint wasn't going to mention to his partner that he had gone into the archive room where most of the case files were kept under their names. He wasn't going to tell her that he got Dr. Harford to asses the small chip that was implanted in his neck all those years ago on that mission in Budapest.

"I got Fitz to check the database on archived weapons picked up from some of our field agents and the only link he found from this chip was leading back to some of the Red Room's outdated serums. He dug further and actually found the man it was specially weaponized for. Joseph Gallaway. Russian Spy, went under for a few years. New Identity, you know the whole works. One of Ivan Petrovitch's top men... Well was, until he was terminated by one of our own. Got on our radar in a bad way. Guess Fitz just found another good reason that he was taken out" Dr. Harford spoke, holding up the small fragment of metal that was much more lethal than what it was deemed. It almost killed Barton.

"Not bad for a SHIELD rookie" Clint mused, impressed at the amount of devouring the junior scientist held.

"We only hire the best.. It's funny. He's taught me a few things too. Got that whole Gen Y perspective I still can't rack my brains around" the scientist chuckled. Clint couldn't help but let out an amused breath too. "I think Coulson too is taking a like to his style. Very modern. Refreshing. It's sort of what SHIELD could do with right now. Something we're quite unfamiliar with"

Barton almost felt the words were coming out of Coulson himself.

He then soon after dug deeper by approaching Melinda May, the ex-field agent who neglected her true abilities after an event which hadn't crossed his knowledge at that point in time. Her dull eyes glanced up from the neck high stack of papers she was devouring through.

He had heard the stories of whom she was. Clint was praying he would never be cooped up in a desk that she so devotedly held.

"What do you know of Ivan Petrovitch?" Clint asked, skipping the greetings as he knew the way she ran was not through civil conversation. She appeared very direct and straight to the point. Had a faint similarity to the way Romanoff ran. Barton could only imagine how her combat skills on field compared.

"Thought you were on vacation" she replied in a dull tone, not taking a moment to even glance up, knowing there would only be one man who would ask her that question. She had almost anticipated the day. "Romanoff doing your head in?"

"No" Clint firmly replied with folded arms.

"No? Do you two need couples counseling?" she sighed, not even taking a moment to glance up from her desk filled with papers. The bitterness was almost spilling off her tongue.

"Our partnership is not of _that_ type"

"Oh sure that's why you don't live together-"

"Melinda i'm not here to talk about a presumption. I know you ran an op to secure his whereabouts a few years prior. I also know you tend to look back into the case that never concluded. Deny it and I have the file to prove it" he muttered, waving the stack of papers in front of her face, in a mocking but strangely warm tone. _Typical._

"Last time I checked you did not have clearance for those files, Barton"

"I pulled a few strings" he interjected. "Now answer the question"

"Look that part of my life is over. I wiped a clean slate and I can almost sense you pray to god you have the chance to do the same" she spat back, her jaw clenched tightly.

"Some days, yes. But I would prefer an opportunity where I _wasn't_ decaying behind a desk" he shrugged, a flicker of humor set in his eyes that made her want to punch him. The mystery was how Romanoff put up with him most days bet her solutions.

May gave an annoyed and reluctant glance, stood up and signaled for him to follow her as she observed a group of agents flocking into the office. They walked over to the deserted kitchen in the next room and shut the door. It was around the evening so most had retired to their apartments, or some even to their families.

"We both know his tie's to the Red Room. I'm guessing you found that one of his men was the one who drugged you in Budapest, right?" not needing an answer she carried on "Look, I don't know what your exact aim is, Barton, but I will say that you will find nothing. It's a dead-end. The man was presumed dead... but recently we've had some sightings. But they were scattered all over the place. Random places that had no relevance to any Red Room activity-"

"How long ago was this?"

"Last sighting I was informed of was four months ago. Just north of London. Another was south of Bangkok around 5 months ago. They were tipped but it's sketchy. The locations had no relevance under our radar" she sighed, folding her arms.

"Since when did SHIELD _tip_ randoms?" the archer scoffed, but she elected to ignore his remark.

"I know, on contract and paper, that you are cleared for this conversation but why are you asking?" May pondered.

"Just precautionary. Romanoff is getting a bit jittery and I want to know why"

"This isn't the type of information you look into if your partner is feeling a bit jumpy. He's far more lethal than you may realize" she warned with narrowed and cold eyes.

"Believe me I know how lethal he must be. Just the mention of his name makes Natasha of all people shake in her boots" Barton admitted folding his arms over.

She sighed before giving him one final statement "Just be careful with this information, Barton. My advice is stay out of it. Don't try to be the hero for Natasha. It's really not worth it". With that she walked back to her desk, hiding away from the blunt memories of what Barton was currently living through. Trying day in and day out to avoid triggers that would bring back the horrors so many junior agents turn a blind eye to.

Clint was walking back from headquarters, about to cross a busy intersection with a traffic load of people standing and waiting alongside him. He turned his head to the right looking towards a cafe which was reasonably tidy. There was a man which caught his eye as he was staring directly back at Clint. He had a dark blue suit on and was looking above from reading the paper. The old man's mouth curled upwards into a menacing grin and his cold eyes hardened onto the archer.

Clint looked away feeling his spine chill before it dawned on him. The face was recognizable from what Clint had seen on SHIELD papers only twenty minutes before.

That was when it dawned on him that the man staring at him was the one who he deemed to be dead. The one who he would kill with his bare hands breaking every bone in his body and making sure the old man felt the anger before Clint would shoot him directly between the eyes.

Ivan Petrovitch.

But when he turned to look back he was gone. He had vanished from the crowd and Barton felt some bile rise in his throat. He was just seeing things, he told himself.

There was no way in hell that he could still be alive.

You're just imagining this Barton. Snap out of it.

* * *

**Oh yes I am about to ruin your sanity... **

**love from me ;)**


End file.
